Unforgiven--Includes a bonus novella Read online

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

  Copyright © 2020 by Jennifer M. Voorhees

  Cover design by Elizabeth Turner Stokes

  Cover photography by Rob Lang

  Cover copyright © 2020 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.

  Cowboy to the Rescue copyright © 2019 by A.J. Pine

  Hachette Book Group supports the right to free expression and the value of copyright. The purpose of copyright is to encourage writers and artists to produce the creative works that enrich our culture.

  The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book without permission is a theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like permission to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), please contact [email protected]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

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  First Edition: February 2020

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  ISBN: 978-1-5387-4635-6 (mass market), 978-1-5387-4637-0 (ebook)

  E3-20191120-DA-NF-ORI

  Contents

  Cover

  Title

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter 1: Kody

  Chapter 2: Hill

  Chapter 3: Kody

  Chapter 4: Hill

  Chapter 5: Kody

  Chapter 6: Hill

  Chapter 7: Kody

  Chapter 8: Hill

  Chapter 9: Kody

  Chapter 10: Hill

  Chapter 11: Kody

  Chapter 12: Hill

  Chapter 13: Kody

  Chapter 14: Hill

  Chapter 15: Kody

  Chapter 16: Hill

  Chapter 17: Kody

  Chapter 18: Hill

  Chapter 19: Kody

  Chapter 20: Hill

  Chapter 21: Kody

  Epilogue: Kody

  Acknowledgments

  Discover More

  Also by Jay Crownover

  Praise for the Loveless, Texas series

  About the Author

  Cowboy to the Rescue by A.J. Pine Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Look for more A.J. Pine books!

  About the Author

  Looking for more hot cowboys? Forever has you covered!

  This book is dedicated to anyone who has loved someone, and their demons, no matter how hard it was or how badly it hurt.

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  Prologue

  My little brother had been my best friend.

  It was common knowledge around our tiny hometown of Loveless, Texas, that where one Gamble brother went, the other followed.

  Our home life wasn’t the best. Our parents had a complicated, volatile marriage. They loved each other deeply, passionately, almost obsessively…They hated each other with the same intensity. At times it felt like Aaron and I were nothing more than props in some overly dramatic soap opera. So my baby brother and I learned early it was better to be anywhere other than home. I never minded him following me around. I liked being his hero. I enjoyed being the one who taught him the basics, like how to play catch, how to fish, and how to drive. I also indulged him by passing along my tips and tricks when it came to getting girls. Although I tended to stick with sports and extracurricular activities that might help me get into a good college, girls were always Aaron’s favorite distraction from what was happening at home.

  It helped that Aaron was a good-looking kid. Tall, lanky, and filled with that unpredictable teenage angst that made him broody and unpredictable. He cruised around Loveless on a battered old dirt bike I’d helped him fix up and had just enough disdain for authority to place him squarely in the “bad boy” category. Teenage girls found him irresistible, adults found him uncontrollable. He was a quiet kid, often lost in his own thoughts, but he never had a problem opening up to me. I didn’t think there was a single secret between the two of us.

  I was wrong. Very wrong.

  I had no idea Aaron was cutting himself. Leaving scars on his body to hide the ones that refused to heal on his heart.

  I never guessed his wild mood swings were anything more than puberty and testosterone taking their toll on a growing boy.

  I didn’t have a clue my younger brother was silently suffering, internally agonized every single day. His mind was telling him lies, twisting him up and dragging him down…His mind was his worst enemy.

  Unfortunately, I also never in a million years would have predicted that Aaron and I would end up falling in love with the same girl. Or that she would be the reason our relationship fell apart.

  Kody Lawton had been the center of Aaron’s entire world for as long as I could remember. The Lawton kids, Aaron, and I were all friends growing up, but Aaron and Kody were thick as thieves, almost inseparable, and forever up to no good. Kody was a troublemaker, a fearless rebel, a sassy, smart-mouthed brat my brother thought the sun rose and set upon. But it wasn’t until Kody’s mother passed away, right as she was about to enter high school, that my brother realized his feelings for her went deeper than friendship.

  I’d graduated by then. But before I left for college, I asked Kody’s brother Case to keep an eye on Aaron. I knew the death of their mother had hit all the Lawton kids hard. Kody was devastated, and Aaron, even though he was emotionally fragile at best, was whom she leaned on the hardest. Almost overnight they went from best friends to something so much more. For Aaron there was no other girl besides Kody Lawton; and for Kody, Aaron was always going to be the first boy she loved. He adored every untamed inch of her and made her feel accepted and special.

  By that time I was too far away—too engrossed in finally finding some freedom and getting to live life on my own terms—to recognize the warning signs. But I did know the way Aaron loved Kody wasn’t unlike the way my parents loved and hated one another. There was zero balance, and little mattered in my brother’s life other than the girl who had stolen his heart. They got engaged the day before Kody graduated high school and started living together soon after. To the casual observer it appeared to be young love flourishing, but on the inside things were a mess. Aaron needed help, but he was too scared to admit it to anyone…even Kody.

  She was the one who called me in the middle of the night, crying because she found Aaron huddled in a ball on the bathroom floor slashing his skin. Kody was the one who texted me in a panic when Aaron was so listless and drained he wouldn’t leave bed for days and days at a time. She begged me to come home. Pleaded with me to fix my brother, but I blew her off over and over again. I didn’t know how to fix Aaron, didn’t have the tools required to convince him that he needed help. I tried to comfort him from a
far, but I kept my distance. I was selfish, and deep down, I was jealous. Because even with all the turmoil and upheaval Aaron brought into her life, Kody adored him. She loved him like it was the only thing keeping him alive, and maybe it was.

  When I did go home to check on Aaron, it felt like visiting a stranger. I was no longer his hero. In fact, I had somehow morphed into his number one enemy. Aaron acted as if he hated me for leaving, for living my own life. It made me wonder if he knew how hard I worked to be a good brother while also hiding my attraction to his one true love. Time and distance didn’t matter. I was in love with Kody Lawton, and I hated myself for it.

  I didn’t want to find her beautiful and vivacious. I didn’t want to be charmed by her sharp tongue and no-holds-barred attitude…but I was. On my first visit back home, it suddenly hit me that Kody was no longer a little girl but a young woman. One who was strong, savvy, and endlessly patient with my baby brother. I’d spent my entire life taking care of Aaron, and I couldn’t deny that I was envious of the kindness and compassion she was always showing him. It was an inconvenient crush, especially since I couldn’t distance myself from her emotionally, since we were tied together by our growing concern for Aaron. The many late-night phone calls talking to her about how much she worried about my little brother often left me hurting—for her and for Aaron—but I suffered through, caught between my love for her and my love for him. What other option did I have?

  Knowing my feelings for Kody could never go anywhere, I focused on my life away from Loveless. I graduated college, joined the United States Border Patrol, and eventually worked my way up the ranks of law enforcement until I had the opportunity to apply to be a Texas Ranger. I dated here and there. Told myself I couldn’t settle down because my career came first, because I didn’t have enough to offer anyone just yet. The truth was, my whole heart was never invested in finding a new love. It was stuck back home, hung up on my little brother’s soon-to-be wife. I distanced myself more and more from Aaron and Kody, not knowing Aaron’s issues were escalating. I eventually forced myself to stop taking Kody’s calls. I needed to make a clean break, but I never stopped caring about my brother. I called him directly, urged him to get help, and begged him to see someone about his emotional unpredictability. I tried to connect with him, urged him to get out of Loveless, to experience the world outside his own dark, suffocating bubble. I even tried to get my parents involved, but as usual, they were more concerned about themselves than about their children. No matter what I said, or how hard I tried, Aaron brushed off my concern and assured me he would be fine. And I selfishly believed him. It was easier for me that way.

  But he wasn’t fine. Far from it.

  A couple of days before Aaron and Kody’s wedding, I received a call from Case Lawton, who was working as a deputy for the Loveless sheriff’s office. Someone who lived next to Aaron and Kody had called in a disturbance complaint. When Case got to the house, Aaron was nowhere to be found. The small home they rented was trashed, and Kody was sporting a fat lip and a sprained wrist. Case was pissed at the state his sister was in, and even angrier that my brother was missing and unable to answer for his actions. I was tangled up in an extremely complicated sex trafficking case at the border, so I hadn’t planned on making it home for the wedding as it was. Not that Aaron had bothered to invite me. The distance between us felt insurmountable at that point.

  Nevertheless, I knew there was no way Aaron would hurt Kody if he still had some sort of control over his condition and his actions. Worried in a way that could not be ignored, I called in someone to take over my case and went back to Loveless for the first time in years.

  I found Kody before I found Aaron.

  Seeing her tearstained, pale, horrified face did something to me. All the emotions I’d learned to deny did their best to burst free. I couldn’t resist pulling her into my arms, and couldn’t stop myself from touching my lips to her forehead and apologizing for not taking better care of my brother…and her. As far back as I could recall, it was the first time in my life I felt like an absolute failure. It was also the first time Kody went out of her way to get so close to me. It was an accidental, or playful touch but one with purpose and filled with emotion, making it a memory seared in my mind forever.

  I will also never forget the look of absolute betrayal and utter devastation on Aaron’s face when he suddenly appeared. I let go of Kody like her skin had suddenly sprouted thorns and stepped toward my brother.

  “It takes her getting hurt for you to give a shit, Hill? What about me? I hurt all the time and you pretend like I don’t exist.” He was gaunt, his eyes wild, and far too pale. He was shaking uncontrollably, and his arms were covered in thin white scars. He no longer looked like the sullen kid who’d followed me around, but like a man with too many demons to count.

  Kody pushed me out of the way and reached for him, pleading, “Aaron, we have to talk about this. You have to let me help you. I love you, but we can’t go on like this.”

  My brother lunged for his pretty, blond fiancée. His hands were curled into claws and I swear that if I hadn’t gotten between the two of them, he would have wrapped those shaking hands around Kody’s neck.

  I put a hand on the center of Aaron’s too-thin chest and pushed him back. I didn’t expect for him to land on his ass, or for him to immediately leap to his feet and bolt for his motorcycle. He’d long since upgraded from the dirt bike to a sporty foreign design that was faster than lightning. He disappeared before I could get my scattered thoughts together. Kody’s hand locked on my arm as she yanked me around to face her.

  “You have to find him, Hill. If something happens to him…” She trailed off, head shaking sadly from side to side. “I’ll never forgive myself.”

  I nodded absently. I wasn’t going to let anything happen to my little brother, and it was high time I forced him to get the help he so obviously needed. I was a pro at pushing my feelings aside and would continue to push them aside so that Aaron and Kody could have the happy-ever-after they’d always dreamed of. Well, as long as Case didn’t murder my brother for roughing Kody up before I got my hands on him.

  I made Kody text me a list of places Aaron might go and asked Case to help me track down anyone he might be close to. But it was almost as if Aaron had disappeared into thin air. Kody called every fifteen minutes asking for updates, even though she was turning Loveless upside down trying to find him as well. The last place to look was my parents’ house. I couldn’t fathom why Aaron would go to the one place he’d spent so much time trying to escape, but sure enough, his bike was parked out front when I arrived.

  It took my mother forever to answer the door, and she blinked at me like she didn’t recognize me.

  “Hill? What are you doing here? I thought you were skipping the wedding.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “Aaron was devastated when you told him you weren’t coming.”

  I highly doubted Aaron had shared anything so personal with her, but the well-aimed barb did sting.

  “Is he here?” I maneuvered around her before she could answer me.

  “Yes, he is. He showed up a few hours ago. He said he was spending the night here while Kody was at her bachelorette party.” She reached for my arm, but I was already running up the stairs, headed toward the small bedroom Aaron and I had shared growing up.

  I smelled it before I reached the door.

  The coppery, metallic scent of blood. There had to be a lot of it for the smell to be as strong as it was. Freaking out, I kicked the door open and rushed into the room, my heart immediately sinking into my stomach.

  Aaron was slumped on the floor, head bent, sitting in a pool of blood. There was an empty bottle of pills on the floor near his legs, and a bloodstained razor blade abandoned on his lap. I had no idea how long he’d been there, but it had been long enough for his skin to turn a faint gray and for his breath to be incredibly shallow and ragged.

  Shouting Aaron’s name, I fumbled with my phone to call 911.

  I pulle
d a pillow off the bed, wrenching the case off so I could wrap it around Aaron’s wrist. I did the same on the other side, barking orders into the phone.

  The commotion brought my parents into the room. My mother immediately burst into hysterics, while my father stood stoically.

  Refusing to take my focus off Aaron, I growled, “Neither one of you bothered to check on him. He showed up out of the blue, looking like a zombie, and you left him alone. How can you be so thoughtless? So careless.” It was a pointless statement. Neither one had ever had the first clue what to do with either of us. Aaron and I had always been bit players in their theatrics.

  My heart skipped a beat when Aaron’s eyelids suddenly fluttered. He looked at me through hazy eyes and tried to say my name. Everything inside me froze, then burst into panicked flames a moment later when he stopped breathing.

  Time ceased to exist.

  I have no idea how long I sat on the floor of my childhood room after the paramedics left. I stayed there covered in my brother’s blood, crying, agonizing over all the mistakes I’d made.

  Eventually I pulled myself together enough to drag myself to Aaron and Kody’s so I could tell her what had happened.

  Only I didn’t get a chance to get a word out. Kody took one look at the dried blood on my hands and clothes and collapsed into a boneless heap of grief at my feet. I wanted to comfort her, to tell her we could face this together. No one loved Aaron the way we did. No one understood him the way we did.

  Twenty-two years old was way too young to die.

  However, as soon as she was able to speak through the tears and violent shakes, she smacked me in the face and sobbed. “This is all your fault. All he ever wanted was to make you proud. He did everything he could for your time and attention. Why weren’t you here when he needed you most?” Her voice was cold as she told me flatly, “I never want to see you again, Hill Gamble. I hate you.”

  I had never known words had the power to wound so deeply. Their impact stole my breath and turned my heart inside out. My knees went weak, and it took every ounce of self-control I had to stay upright. If she’d thrown a punch it would’ve hurt less.