Honor Read online

  She blinked at me again and I saw a warm flush work into her cheeks. She looked so sweet and so proper that the idea that she wanted someone to spank her made me want to laugh, but I liked how unassuming she came across, so if that’s what she was after, I would help her get it.

  “I’m not very good with men. I’m shy and I have a hard time carrying on a conversation around someone I find attractive. I usually end up looking like an idiot.”

  I leaned back away from her and started scoping out the men circulating in the bar area. Many of them were already with women, many had that lock clicked shut where it dangled around their necks, and a few were obviously the hired help working the crowd to make a buck, but there were a few that appeared to be single and looked like they would be an all-right fit for the blonde.

  “You don’t need to have a conversation. All you need to do is find out if he’s into what you’re into, and if he is and you think he’ll flip your switch, you give him the green light.”

  She gulped a little and fidgeted with the empty shot glass in front of her. “Doesn’t that make me easy?”

  I lifted both my eyebrows at her and indicated the tight, black leather pants I had on and the deep red bustier that was barely containing my chest. “Do I look like the type to judge? And what’s easy? You had to buy a membership, work up the courage to come in here, and find the right guy. That all sounds like work to me. Besides, what happens in this club stays here. That’s part of the fantasy. No one else should ever get a say in the kind of sex you choose to have as long as it’s between consenting adults.”

  She considered me thoughtfully for a few seconds and then moved away from the bar. “You’ll help me?”

  I nodded. “Sure, and if I can’t deliver, then you always have the option of taking one of Nassir’s guys for a spin.” I pointed to a beefy-looking young man that was obviously checking her out. She put a hand up to her neck again and turned wide eyes to me.

  “Holy shit.”

  I laughed a little and took her elbow to guide her toward a table of guys that were just a few feet away. “He has good taste.”

  “Who? Nassir or that guy?” She had some sass. That made me like her even more.

  “Both. Now let’s go get you what you want.”

  The first table of guys was a bust. They were too young, and as soon as we approached they couldn’t tear their eyes away from my boobs long enough to pay attention to my new friend. A guy at a second table had more potential, but when he tried to talk to the blonde, she really did clam up and the situation got awkward fast. I struck out with guy three as well. Turned out he was much more interested in the handsome bartender than he was in what we were offering, and I could feel the woman’s confidence and enthusiasm starting to waver with each failure. I told her not to give up even though I was starting to wonder if I was going to be successful in my plans when an older gentleman caught my eye. He was standing off to the side of the crowd watching the circus with amused eyes. He had dark hair with a liberal sprinkling of silver woven into it and a strong jaw with a bit of dark scruff along the edge. He was very, very good-looking in a mature kind of way, and as I started to make my way toward him his gaze skimmed over me and landed solidly on my charge.

  “Hi.” I smiled up at him and was floored by the blinding-white smile I got back. Oh, this guy was good and he didn’t even have to try.

  “Hello.” I noticed that the lock around his neck was very much open and signaling that he was unattached as I grabbed the blonde and wheeled her around in front of me.

  “This is my friend . . .” I trailed off, realizing I hadn’t even bothered to ask the other woman her name.

  I nudged her until she offered up, “Clare.”

  “This is my friend Clare and she’s looking for someone special.”

  His dark eyebrows shot up and that smile kicked up a notch. I thought I heard Clare whimper next to me.

  “Is that so? What kind of someone special is Clare looking for?” Direct and charming, he was the perfect guy to give the little blonde what she needed for the night.

  “Tell him, Clare.”

  She couldn’t have been any redder if she tried. Her mouth opened and closed like a guppy and I thought she was going to blow it again when the man reached out and touched a finger to her lips.

  “If you can’t tell me, can you show me?” She shot wide eyes to me and then back to him. I took a step back as she nodded slowly. “Good girl. You want to give me that key?”

  Without a word, she unhooked the necklace and handed it over to the silver fox. He put the end in the lock that dangled around his own neck and clicked the lock shut. Watching this, I realized how symbolic the action was. Her key into his lock: it was so sensual and a metaphor for so much more than sex. She owned him for the night, and that had to make her feel like a million bucks.

  She mouthed “thank you” over her shoulder as the man led her away and I wanted to give myself a pat on the back. I had always been solidly secure in my own sexuality and it looked like instead of projecting that out and getting others to lust after me, it was time I helped others find their inner stripper and comfort in their own wants and needs.

  I mingled some more. Gave Chuck a quick hug when I passed him, did another shot at the bar, which somehow led to me having the bottle of tequila in my hand and encouraging a rather dowdy-looking woman to do body shots off the bar, and generally worked the crowd like a pro. I was totally getting into my groove, finally starting to understand what Nassir meant about giving the club life, when I found a man standing in the shadows off the dance floor while he watched a pretty boy dressed in nothing but a leather G-string gyrate to the EDM blasting through the club’s sound system.

  He was shifting uneasily from foot to foot, his eyes locked on the show the other man was putting on. I put a hand on his shoulder and smiled.

  “Go talk to him. What could it hurt?” Only I should have paid closer attention because the man had his lock around his neck firmly clicked closed and it wasn’t the designated color that indicated he was there for some same-sex action.

  He puffed up and sputtered at me, “I’m here with my wife!”

  I lifted up my hands in a gesture of surrender. “Sorry, friend. I just thought . . .”

  “You thought what? Who are you? Get away from me.” The man stormed off in a huff and some of my good cheer dissipated. I wondered what he was doing here with his wife if he wasn’t in search of an opportunity to explore his obvious desire to be with another man. Sad for him and really sad for his wife. I decided I needed a little break. I could only play sexual-fantasy fairy godmother for so long.

  There was a break room on one of the floors, but the person I wanted was in his office on the top floor. I hadn’t seen much of Nassir since I walked away from him after that kiss. My stuff had shown up at the house and the housekeeper that obviously hated me had made sure it all got delivered up to my borrowed room, but Nassir wasn’t around. He hadn’t even come back to the house last night, and when I asked the chilly woman in charge of his home about it, she just muttered that he often stayed in the city when he had business.

  He came back to the mountain house to grab me for opening night, but we’d spent the ride mostly in silence. When I asked him what he expected me to do, he just looked at me out of those eyes that seemed to glow and told me to do whatever felt comfortable. He wanted me on the floor. He wanted me to mingle. He wanted me to make people comfortable and stick around. He wanted the club to be about more than sex, and I think I finally figured out how to do that.

  Once we got to the massive building, he guided me inside, looked at me like he wanted to push me up against the wall and ravish me, and then disappeared without another word.

  Well, now I had plenty to say to him. I wanted to ask him if I was doing all right, if the club was doing all right. I wanted him to tell me I was doing a good job and I really, really wanted him to kiss me again. The whole hands-to-himself thing was getting old really fast an
d he showed no sign of bending—let alone breaking—to give me what I wanted.

  I pushed the button for the elevator that led to his office and put in the little card that would allow me access to his private space. The only people that could get up to the top floor besides Nassir were me and Chuck. Nassir was lording over his domain from relative security and I loved and hated that I was one of the few allowed inside the gates. I didn’t want his keys to the kingdom; I wanted my own set.

  When the doors whooshed open I was greeted with the sight of him behind his big desk in the center of the room. On the wall behind him, a collection of monitors with video feeds from the private client rooms blasted some of the most pornographic images I had ever seen in my life, along with shots of the parking lot, the dance floor, and the bar. I blinked in shock as I watched a man get guided around a room on a leash. I couldn’t comprehend the image of a woman chained up spread eagle above the ground while two men moved sexually and aggressively in front and behind her. I couldn’t look away as another image showed what had to be no less than six people engaged in a tangle of limbs as they took part in an orgy right before my eyes.

  Nassir seemed oblivious to it all. He had two laptops open and was focused on something on his phone. He looked up when I started to move across the room toward him, but I couldn’t meet his gaze. I was transfixed by what was happening behind him and couldn’t look away.

  “You have the private rooms wired?” It was a stupid question but it was all I could manage.

  “Just the rooms that people pay for. The private rooms like the one you sent the blonde off into are not.” He lifted an eyebrow at me. “By the way, that was nice what you did with her. That’s exactly why I wanted you on board with this club. You understand human sexuality and the innate fear people have of it better than anyone I have ever met.”

  I lifted an eyebrow at him. “You do realize that a king without people to lord over is nothing more than a lonely man on a fancy chair, right? You can’t have power if there isn’t someone to exert it over. People and prestige go hand in hand, Nassir.” I ignored the way my words made his face darken, and asked, “Why have cameras only in the rooms people pay for?”

  He snorted and waved a hand behind his head. “Because people pay for outrageous stuff they can’t get on their own. A little spanking, some light bondage, a submissive to practice basic S&M on, that’s stuff any average Joe can usually scare up if they look hard enough.” He hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “The kind of stuff going on in those rooms is easier to pay for.”

  “How can you work with all of that . . . sex”—I wasn’t sure that was the right word for all the crazy I was witnessing behind him but it would have to do— “going on behind you? Isn’t it distracting?”

  He touched the screen of his phone and the video feed went black. “That is work. The guy on the end of the leash is a federal judge. The woman chained up is a district attorney and the couple that paid for the orgy own one of the biggest import and export companies in the state.”

  I pushed some of my hair off my face and moved to prop myself up on the edge of his desk. “You set them up. They can’t know you are filming them. They would never agree to that.”

  He leaned back in his chair and his dark eyebrows shot up. He always looked like he was up to no good—probably because he typically was.

  “Sometimes people ignore all the risks associated with going after something they want. If I promise to make fantasy a reality, then all bets are off.”

  I sighed and let my gaze rove over him. He had on a dark gray shirt that was unbuttoned at the collar and his typical suit jacket and neatly pressed slacks. If I could see below the desk, I bet the shoes he had on cost more than mine. My devil dressed to the nines and always looked sharp. That was his disguise, but it never fooled me. I should be used to the impact he had on me but I wasn’t, and my pulse jumped when his gaze settled on me.

  “Do you even see human beings or just opportunities and dollar signs?” He’d told me that he saw me, but I wondered if I was an anomaly in his world.

  “Depends on what I need them for. All of the people in those rooms knew what they were getting into when they plunked their cash down to indulge their proclivities. They know I’ll give them anonymity, a place to do their thing, and in return, when I need a favor, they will provide it. It’s an even exchange.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest, which pushed my breasts up and almost over the top of the fabric. Nassir noticed and my body reacted without thought. Being around him always made me feel like I was moving through a fog of sexual tension and repressed desire. He made the air thick and I could feel his eyes on me like a physical touch. It was getting tougher to convince myself that I couldn’t do forever with a man like him.

  “Nothing with you is an even exchange. They think you’ll ask for one favor, but you won’t. You’ll ask for as many as you need, and if they don’t comply, you’ll remind them that you can air their dirty laundry anytime you want to. The second they stepped foot into your trap, you owned them.”

  He laced his fingers together and laid them across his flat stomach. I watched the movement and decided he was too far away. Before he could argue with me or tell me I was right about his tricks of the trade, I walked the rest of the way around his desk and planted myself squarely in his lap. He let out a surprised grunt and lifted his hands like he was going to pull me closer. At the last second he swore and put them on the arms of his chair, curling his fingers around the leather like it was a lifeline.

  I used the tip of my index finger to trace the way his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as I breathed against his throat. I wanted to lick him, so I did. He tasted tangy and salty, just like I knew he would. He said my name in a low voice as I trailed the tip of my tongue along the thick vein that ran up the side of his neck until I reached his ear. His too-long hair tickled the end of my nose as I nuzzled into him and his body went stone still when I traced the outer shell of his ear before whispering, “How far do I have to push until you fall for me?”

  He chuckled and it shifted me on his lap so that there was no missing the bulge hidden behind his expertly tailored trousers.

  “I like it when you push at me, Key, even when you’re pushing me away. I mean, you’re here and you’re fighting, me or yourself. It doesn’t matter.” He smirked at me and my heart flipped over. “But I fell for you long ago, so there’s nowhere else for me to go.”

  That made the iron grip I had on my heart slip just a fraction. It would be so very easy to hand it over to him.

  I dipped my finger into the open collar of his shirt and traced a line down his sternum, popping his shirt buttons open as I went. His smooth, coppery skin was hot to the touch and my fingers wanted to brush across all of it. Being closer to him than I had ever allowed myself to be, I could see that Nassir’s tailored suits hid far more than that massive tattoo that covered his back. He had puckered burn marks along his collarbone. There was a wicked scar that looked like someone had tried to cut him in half across his entire belly. He had more than one circular scar that was raised up and smooth. I knew exactly what they were from since I had the exact same kind of scar from where the bullet had torn through my shoulder. His torso was a road map of violent, ugly things, and as much as I wanted to hear the story behind each and every mark, the gory details chronicling his survival and victory, I knew that once I had them, once I knew him inside and out, I would never be able to escape. I didn’t want the devil to be able to justify his actions. I knew his story was going to be tragic and full of suffering. I wasn’t sure my heart was ready to hear it just yet, not when it was getting used to being in his hands and under his control.

  “Why me, Nassir? You don’t have patience for anything that isn’t perfect and I am far from that. Why would you wait for me all this time, especially when you have beautiful women dying to take my place?” His gorgeous housekeeper immediately came to mind.

  I reached the top of his pants and stopped so I
could brush the back of my hands across the chiseled divots and lines that cut across his abdomen. The man was built. There wasn’t an ounce of anything extra on him and every place I was pressed up against was hard and unyielding. Those pricy suits hid the body of a warrior, but the things that were darker, scarier, and fierce enough to control this city shone bright and clear out of those molten eyes.

  “If not you, then who, Keelyn? Who else has the fight and the strength to stand with me in this city? You own a part of it just like I do. You earned your place here while I took mine, and you might not want to be Honor but you have it in spades. You care about this place and the people in it. You care about me even though you know you shouldn’t. You’re the only one in my life who has ever been worth waiting for.”

  I knew he was just stating the facts as he saw them, but to me it was the most romantic, most heartfelt thing any man, any person, had ever said to me, and as a result, more of my resolve slipped away. I wanted to be his equal, his perfect match, and it sounded like he had considered me that from the very start, even though I’d needed him to save me.

  I kissed him on the cheek. It was silly and too tame for a man like Nassir Gates, but from the way his chest rumbled in reaction and the way his legs tensed under my backside, I knew it got to him as effectively as if I had sunk to my knees in front of him.

  “When you’re sweet like that, it makes it harder to remember why I want to hate you.” I started tugging on his belt and his tight stomach pulled in even tighter as I got the leather open and slipped the button out of the hole.

  I was expecting silk or maybe silky-smooth bare skin, but I was surprised when my questing fingers encountered only regular old cotton boxer briefs encasing an erection that flexed and throbbed as I reached for it. I heard him suck in a loud breath and his hand let go of the arm of the chair like he was going to try to stop me from pulling him free of the clothing that was separating me from my destination, but his iron will kicked in at the last second and his hands balled into fists as he narrowed his eyes at me.