Unforgiven--Includes a bonus novella Read online

  Once there, I wasn’t surprised to find Shot in the thick of things. He was easy to spot with that skull tattoo on the back of his bloodied fist and the sheer skill with which he fought. He was a weapon, trained and honed to inflict the most damage possible. The guy going up against him didn’t stand a chance if Shot really wanted to cause some permanent damage, which it appeared he was holding himself back from doing. There was another, bigger guy, positioned with his back to Shot. It was clear his job was to make sure no one came at his brother while his back was turned. It was also clear he didn’t care about the law, because he didn’t bother to try to hide the brass knuckles wrapped around both of his hands.

  “Caldwell.” I called Shot’s name, trying to get his attention, and was ignored. I reached out to grab his shoulder and was immediately cut off by the guy with the brass knuckles.

  “Back off, cop.”

  I narrowed my eyes and dodged another fist coming at my face. “Break it up.” I pointed to his hands. “Those are illegal, by the way.”

  The biker gave me a smirk and used one of his metal-wrapped hands to knock out a charging cowboy.

  “I know.”

  Fighting back a sigh, I told him flatly, “You’re under arrest.”

  The biker chuckled and held up his hands in a mocking manner. “Of course I am.” He lifted an eyebrow and asked, “Why don’t you ask the prez who started this?”

  Shot suddenly appeared at my side. His cheek was bleeding and his eyes were hard. “Don’t say anything, Top. I’m gonna call our lawyer.”

  The biker, who I suddenly noticed had a VICE PREZ patch on his worn, battered leather vest, chuckled again. “Good thing we have him on retainer. Seriously, Shot, why don’t you tell the cop about how that asshole grabbed Kody? Tell him how he put his hands on her without permission and got pissed when Kody put him in his place. His fragile ego couldn’t handle being embarrassed in front of his buddies, so he called Kody a bunch of names and said it was no wonder her fiancé killed himself to get away from her.”

  I went stiff as a board and felt ice start to form in my veins. I looked down at the cowboy writhing on the ground at Shot’s booted feet and had a flash of regret the man was still breathing.

  “He threw the first punch when I kicked him out of the bar. We didn’t start this shit, but there’s no way we weren’t going to finish it.” Shot wiped the blood off his cheek and narrowed his dark eyes at me. “Do what you have to do, Ranger, but at least someone was here to have her back when she needed it.”

  Before I could come up with an appropriate response, the parking lot was flooded with deputies from Case’s department. Chaos ensued as those who were still able to move tried to flee. Except for the bikers. The majority of them immediately dropped to their knees, hands behind their heads, fingers laced together, like this was old hat.

  Moving past Shot, I snapped handcuffs around the tattooed wrists of his second in command, stripping him of the brass knuckles as I did so. Shot stood and watched it all go down with a dispassionate expression, gaze flicking between his brothers and the cops to make sure everyone behaved themselves.

  Against my better judgment I asked, “Is Kody okay?”

  Shot’s eyes narrowed even more. “Has she ever been okay?” He turned and headed toward where Case was arguing with one of the cowboys, effectively dismissing me.

  It took around forty-five minutes to get the mess cleaned up and everyone booked and then put in a car or the paddy wagon. There were going to be a lot of regrets tomorrow morning, not that any of Shot’s boys looked a bit sorry.

  Case told me he had to go to the station after he ran into the bar to check on Kody, but offered to drop me off back at the motel on the way. I waved him off and told him I wanted to see that Kody was all right for myself. I should have kept my mouth shut, because he didn’t bother to hide his satisfied smile as he flicked his fingers against the brim of his hat in a hasty goodbye.

  The bar was pretty empty after all the ruckus, and Kody was nowhere to be found. I got a dirty look from the same bartender I’d asked to stick around and clean the place. He inclined his chin in the direction of her office and growled, “She probably doesn’t want any visitors right now, but since you have a badge, do what you want. You will anyway.”

  Not bothering to respond to the snark, I took the stairs up to the loft two at a time. I knocked briefly, but went in without waiting for her to say it was okay.

  She was sitting on the floor, back to the wall, with her forehead resting on her knees. She didn’t look up as I approached her, but she did mumble, “I want to be alone.”

  I sat down on the hard wooden floor next to her and sighed. “How about we be alone together, then?”

  When she lifted her head to look at me, the expression on her face broke my heart. It was one I recognized well. It was the look of someone who really wondered if they were responsible for the death of someone they loved.

  “Aaron didn’t have to die.” Her voice cracked and her lower lip trembled. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.”

  “No, he didn’t.” There was so much more we all could have done if only we’d known more about what was going on with him.

  She released a hiccupping breath and met my gaze with a hard, brittle one of her own. “Sometimes I blame you for him being gone.”

  It hurt to hear, but I wasn’t surprised. “I know you do.” It was the main reason I’d kept my distance after he passed away. She used to look at me with something like excitement and admiration. My already tattered heart couldn’t take it when she started looking at me with disappointment and doubt.

  “I blame you so I don’t have to blame myself. It gets exhausting, trying to figure out which one of us screwed up more. We both made so many mistakes.”

  I reached out and put my hand on top of her folded ones. “There’s plenty of blame to go around. But you stayed by his side, stuck with him no matter how bad it got. You tried your best to keep him here. You did the work, Kody. I avoided how bad his condition was getting. I couldn’t let go of the idea of having my happy, healthy brother back. You did everything you could, I didn’t do nearly enough. I was too busy trying to protect myself, selfishly caught up in my own feelings, I didn’t stop to think how staying away would affect you and my brother. I’m always telling you to consider how your actions might hurt the ones you love, and I blatantly ignored my own advice. That’s why I’ve never minded shouldering the blame for what went wrong that night. But I do think it’s probably time some of the damn blame lands on Aaron. We both pushed him to get help. Maybe we let him down, but he let us down too.”

  She exhaled deeply, and I swear I felt the caress of it all along my skin.

  “Changed my mind. I don’t want to be alone.” She tilted her head to the side and asked so softly I wasn’t certain I heard her correctly, “Will you stay with me?”

  On the off chance that I wasn’t hallucinating, I gave her the only response I was capable of.

  “Always.”

  Chapter 11

  Kody

  I wasn’t sure how long we sat on the floor in silence. It felt like forever, yet not nearly long enough. There was a lot left to be said between the two of us, but the quiet was nice, and needed. Even with the noise from the bar down below, I was in my own little world. The only thing that existed was the gentle caress of Hill’s hand gliding over the top of my head and down to the ends of my hair. I couldn’t recall the last time I’d felt like I could breathe this easy, or everything inside of me had felt so still and calm. It was as if his touch was a soothing balm to all my desperately frayed edges.

  I might’ve even drifted off for a minute or two, but when Lorenzo knocked on the door and told me last call was done, I shook off the stupor. Hill offered to close up, but the look of pure horror on Lorenzo’s face told me taking him up on it would be a bad idea. I didn’t have the time, patience, or trust to bring someone new on staff. I wasn’t about to let Hill run off my best bartender, ev
en if his intentions were good.

  Once Lorenzo went back downstairs I said, “You can head out.” I tried to sound unaffected, but there was a wobble in my voice, and I was sure he could plainly see my fear of being left alone stamped all over my face. Well, it wasn’t so much the fear of being alone as it was the fear of him walking away from me just when I decided I wanted to hold on to him.

  Hill shook his head and leaned back against the wall, taking his hat off so he could rest his head against the hard surface. He extended his long legs in front of him and closed his eyes.

  “I’m going to hang out. Case was my ride and he’s long gone. If you don’t mind, I’m going to bum a ride back to the motel when you’re ready to go.” He sounded casual about the request, but there was some kind of deeper emotion in his tone.

  Maybe it was a hidden suggestion that I go back to his room with him for the rest of the night. Or maybe that was what I wanted the tone to mean.

  I ran down the stairs and helped Lorenzo shut the bar down. He apologized multiple times for not having been there to have my back when the handsy, insulting cowboys got out of control. I assured him it wasn’t in his job description to keep me safe. Especially from the people in this town who knew exactly where to hit in order to take me down. I grew up in the shadow of whispers and speculation about my father and what was going on inside my house. I lived with the endless weight of “I told you so” and “You should’ve known better” after everything that happened with Aaron. I should have a thicker skin by now. I usually pretended I did. But after all that had happened with my father and my newly found half sister, the armor I typically wore was paper thin. It was fortunate Shot had been at the bar to pick up his payment. He’d stepped in to fight for me when I forgot for a second how to fight for myself.

  “Business has been picking up lately.” Lorenzo made the observation as he placed the stools up on the bar. “Maybe it’s time to consider hiring an actual bouncer, or some kind of security on nights we think there might be a full house. Some of the girls mentioned they would feel more comfortable if they had eyes on them when the crowd gets rowdy.”

  I wiped the back bar with more force than necessary and angrily kicked one of the beer coolers. “Why did they tell you and not me? I’m the boss.” Which meant I should know if my employees felt unsafe while on the clock.

  Lorenzo shrugged. “Probably because you’ve been out of it lately. First it was that mess with Crew and the gambling debt, then Case landed himself in the middle of an actual shootout. Before you could catch your breath from all of that, your dad ends up dead, and there’s a big, brooding Texas Ranger hanging around all the time. No one blames you for not putting work first all the time.”

  I kicked the cooler again and threw the rag toward the sink tucked under the bar top. “Maybe I can get a pass for not focusing on work, but the people who work for me should always be a priority. It’s always been important for me to take care of you guys.” I wanted to be a good boss, someone they could rely on. It didn’t take a genius to know I tried to save people because I hadn’t managed to save the one who mattered most.

  “Don’t stress too much. I’m sure they would’ve come to you when things calmed down. After tonight it seemed like a good idea to bring it up. We worry about you just as much as you worry about us.” Lorenzo slapped his palm on the bar. “I’m outta here. I want to escape before the Ranger decides to come down and make me scrape gum off the bottoms of all the tables again.”

  I snorted and waved him off. “I’ll protect you from him. And I’ll ask Shot if he has anyone he would recommend to watch the door.” I figured the biker probably had some scary friends on speed dial looking to make some extra cash.

  Lorenzo paused midstep and shot me a look over his shoulder. “You might want to ask the Ranger for a name instead. Something tells me he won’t like you asking Shot for any more favors. Unless you want to rile the big guy up.” He gave me a wink and disappeared out the door, the quiet click of the lock following him.

  I cast a glance up the stairs to where I’d left Hill.

  I could only imagine his reaction when he showed up to a full-on biker brawl in front of my bar. I was sure he was disappointed and that it’d taken all his self-control not to jump into a lecture the minute he saw me.

  I finished cleaning up, making sure to wash my hands and pull my thoughts together before going back upstairs.

  As soon as I hit the threshold of my office I heard the heavy sound of Hill’s breathing. My steps automatically lightened when I realized he’d fallen asleep where I’d left him sprawled on the floor. His head was tilted to the side, blond hair messy and mouth slack as a soft snore escaped. Adorable wasn’t a word I’d typically associate with the rough, rugged man, but right now, when he was unaware and unguarded, he really looked cute. Almost cuddly.

  Snickering under my breath at what his reaction would be if he knew what I was thinking, I reached out to brush some of his wayward golden hair off his forehead.

  I got an immediate reminder that while he might look soft and gentle, the man was anything but.

  He’d been a soldier. He’d been a border patrol agent. He was now a Texas Ranger. He’d carried a gun since he was eighteen years old and learned how to defend himself long before that.

  Hill came awake almost instantly. Gray eyes glittering and dangerous. I gasped as I found myself suddenly thrown backward, landing on the floor with him vibrating and tense above me. Both of my hands were clamped tightly in one of his and pulled above my head. One of his legs slid between mine, effectively pinning me between his body and the hardwood floor. The feel of his weight against me, and the press of all those muscles against all my soft and secret places, made my head spin. I watched him blink slowly, the sleep gradually fading from the sharp silver edge of his gaze.

  I figured he was going to immediately apologize for manhandling me. That would be such a Hill thing to do. Take the blame, even though I was the one who’d startled him when I should’ve known better. It was on the tip of my tongue to cut the apology off. I was opening my mouth to tell him I didn’t mean to wake him up, but the words never made it anywhere. As soon as my lips parted, Hill’s head descended and his mouth sealed over mine.

  I stopped breathing for a solid ten seconds. The kiss was so unexpected, so out of character for him. He was not a man who acted rashly or impulsively. He was the type who thought everything through, who had a plan. But there was nothing routine about the way he moved his mouth over mine.

  His tongue immediately swept inside my mouth, tasting, testing, teasing. I was already having a hard time keeping up when he released my hands, and they landed helplessly on his shoulders as he continued to kiss me into oblivion.

  I let out a surprised whimper when I felt his warm, slightly rough palm slide under the hem of my shirt. His thumb traced along the raised line of my hip bone, and the rest of his fingers spread possessively across my lower abdomen. It felt like his touch seared my skin. I wondered if I was going to have his handprint permanently there as a reminder of his touch.

  I made a strangled, nearly panicked sound low in my throat, and Hill’s head immediately lifted. Some of the wild glitter that made his light eyes sparkle appeared to clear, and he shot a look down the length of our bodies, which were perfectly aligned. The bulge at the front of his jeans was clearly visible, as were the twin points of my nipples where they pressed insistently against my bra and the thin material of my T-shirt.

  His eyes closed briefly and he let out a shuddering sigh. “Goddammit, Kody.” He shook his head like he was trying to clear it and gazed down at me with an intensity I felt all the way down to my toes. “Why is it you—and only you—who makes me lose my damn head?”

  I felt him tense against me and watched as the bicep of the arm he was using to brace himself over me flexed. He was going to go. He was going to rein those unchecked, primitive reactions back in. Who knew when I was going to get the chance to see them again?

  Be
fore he could fully pull himself away, I locked my arms around his neck and wrapped a leg around one of his strong thighs. He made an oomph sound and sort of collapsed back on top of me. I tugged his mouth back to mine and none too subtly rolled my hips against his. The feel of that hard, rigid flesh trapped behind his zipper made me moan. I wanted to touch it, to get intimately familiar with the weight and width of it. I wanted my hands on his erection. My mouth on it. I wanted to drive him out of his mind until he had no choice but to put the impressive length inside me.

  Desire was pushing my common sense into a quiet corner where it was easy to ignore. There was no more keeping control. All there was was the haze of passion and need that seemed to entwine us together.

  When I arched my hips up off the floor once again, thrusting my tongue between Hill’s teeth, he took advantage of my bowed position to tug my T-shirt up my torso and balanced me with a hand on my spine as I wiggled obediently out of the fabric. I gasped against his mouth when I felt the clasp on my bra pop open and again when my shoulders hit the chilly floor.

  Hill lifted his head, and I could clearly see he was willing to give me an out. All I needed to do was tell him to stop, to remind him what a bad idea this was, and he would walk away…probably for good. However, every single cell in my body was screaming I couldn’t let that happen. Rarely did I know with absolute certainty the choice I was making was the right one. Right now, I’d never been more sure of anything. I needed Hill to keep going.

  I threaded my fingers through his hair and pulled his head down until his mouth was hovering enticingly over the tip of one puckered nipple. His breath was hot and damp against the stiff peak, which made me arch my back in an effort to get closer. I closed my eyes and panted incoherent words of encouragement. Then I forgot how to speak when I finally felt the sweep of his tongue against the painfully hard point. The tiniest touch of the tip of his tongue sent a lightning bolt of pleasure shooting down my spine. His palm skated down my ribs, both soothing and seducing, once again tracing my hip bones and pausing briefly when his fingers ran into the top of my jeans. I felt him walk his fingers along the edge of the fabric as his teeth suddenly tightened on the delicate flesh caught between them. He increased the suction at the same time his skillful fingers delved underneath the denim blocking their way.