Better When He's Bad Read online

  My place had already been broken into twice, a known gangster knew my name and where I lived, and my brother was missing and a convicted criminal was my only hope to find him. It was already as ugly as it could be in my mind. I told Carmen good-bye and walked into my room so I could curl up in a ball on top of the thin comforter. I didn’t like to feel out of control. Ever since I was little, it had been up to me to make sure I survived, that I was safe, that I had what I needed to make it in this world. Race showed up and blew all that to hell. I relied on my brother. I trusted him and I loved him, two things I had never felt for another human being, ever. Not being able to do anything, just throwing all my eggs in the Bax basket, made me nervous and entirely exasperated.

  I heard a knock on my front door and roused myself from my moping. It could only be the kids; everyone else lately seemed to think breaking and entering was the best way to get inside my place. I pulled the door back open and looked down at Marco and his younger brother. He was a future badass in the making, no doubt, but he was also a sweet kid who looked out for his little brother and treated me like family because I made him cookies occasionally.

  “What’s up?”

  He shifted nervously on his feet. “Just wanted to make sure you were all right. That guy isn’t a joke like the guy in the suit was.”

  “I know, Marco. It’s fine. He’s gonna try and find Race.”

  “I know. He was on the phone when he got back to the car. Man, is that a sweet ride.” Envy colored his tone.

  “What was he saying on the phone?” I bit my lip because I shouldn’t be pumping a kid for information, but if Bax didn’t want to let me help him, maybe I just needed to take the choice away from him.

  “He was talking about someplace called Spanky’s over in the District.”

  The District was where all the working girls lived and worked. It was where all the strip clubs and bars where girls were looking to make ends meet on their backs were at. It was still in the Point, just one more part of what living on the poor side of town brought you.

  “What was he saying about Spanky’s?”

  Marco looked at me questioningly and I tried to smile reassuringly. My anxiety made it more of a grimace, and he didn’t buy it for a second, but he answered me anyway.

  “He asked if a girl named Honor still worked there. He told whoever he was talking to that he would be by tomorrow to talk to her.”

  I didn’t know if it had anything to do with my brother, or if he was just worried about getting laid. He did say that was on the top of his priority list at the moment, but I wasn’t sure it was a lead I could let slip through my fingers. I reached out and messed up Marco’s hair. He swore and grabbed Paulie’s elbow to drag him back to his apartment.

  “Be careful, Dovie. That guy isn’t someone you want to mess around with.”

  If this kid at his age could sense the danger radiating off of Shane Baxter, then maybe it wasn’t the greatest idea to try and insert myself directly in his path. I ran the very real risk of getting run over. Unfortunately, I just didn’t know what other choice I had at this point.

  “YOU’RE IN A HURRY to get out of here tonight.”

  I looked up at the sound of the voice as Brysen Carter sat down next to me. We were both waitresses at the same corner restaurant that rested right in the part of town where the Point turned into the Hill. I was from one side of the road and she was from the other, but we got along pretty well, and if I was the type to have friends, I would’ve considered her one. She was nice to me, didn’t pry into my business, was always willing to pick up a shift for me if school or my other job called, and she didn’t take crap from anyone. And it wasn’t because she clearly came from money, but because she was petite and pretty and the restaurant was close enough to the Point that it made people think she was easy pickings. They were wrong.

  “I am.” I was doing my count-out well before my shift was over and had handed off my last two tables to a new girl. I hated giving up money, but finding Race was what mattered to me most of all, and I could go without hot water for a month if that’s what it took to find him.

  “Homework?” She was just being friendly, but I didn’t have the time to get into it. I had no idea when Bax would show up at the club, which meant I needed to get there before he saw and intercepted me.

  “No, not tonight.”

  My other job was working a few hours a week at a transition home for kids who had grown up like I had. While there were a lot of really good foster homes and people wanting to help out in the world, there were also a lot of really bad ones. I wanted to help. Wanted to give kids the option to have a normal life, like Race had done for me. I went to school at night because I eventually wanted a degree in counseling. I wanted kids in my shoes to have a fighting chance.

  “Well, I know you don’t have a date because hell hasn’t frozen over, so where are you off to?”

  I looked up at her and rolled my eyes. She was such a pretty girl, I always wondered why she was here and not in some sorority on a campus somewhere. She had a perfectly styled bob that was just the right shade of blond and lighter blond. She had kind blue eyes and a figure that was made for the tight black skirt and T-shirt she wore to work. She was lovely, and genuinely concerned about me but I couldn’t get into it with her. I didn’t need someone else telling me to be careful and to watch my back because Bax was trouble. Message received, universe, the guy was bad news; too bad there was nothing I could do about it. Instead of answering, I cocked my head to the side and lifted an eyebrow at her.

  “Do you think I look like a farm girl?”

  She stared at me like I had grown horns, and then barked out a laugh. “What? Who told you that?”

  I shoved the money and receipts in the bag for the drop and pocketed my tips. “Just this guy. I thought it was crazy.”

  She tilted her head to the side and considered me thoughtfully for a second, then tucked some of her blond hair behind an ear.

  “Well, you do have this whole wholesome-and-wide-eyed-innocent thing going on, but I know you, so I know it isn’t really who you are. It was probably the clothes ten sizes too big and lack of makeup. Plus all that wild hair you never do anything with makes you look about five years old most of the time.”

  Fancy clothes, nice hair, and a made-up face got you unwanted attention in this part of the city. Plus my hair was already a beacon, and I didn’t need anything else to make me stand out.

  “That’s what he said.”

  “Who is this guy?”

  I shrugged as nonchalantly as I could manage. “Just a friend of my brother’s. He stopped by looking for Race and I had to tell him I hadn’t seen him in a while.”

  She made a face. For some reason Brysen was not a fan of my brother. They had similar backgrounds and were both slumming it now for personal reasons, but they didn’t click. She was rude to him, and he dismissed her, and it was awkward for me because I genuinely liked her, and I didn’t like very many people as a rule.

  “Did he have any idea where Race might be?”

  I shook my head and shoved away from the table. “No, but I’m not sure he would tell me if he did. He didn’t strike me as the sharing type.”

  “Sounds like the rude type if he called you a farm girl without knowing the first thing about you.”

  “You have no idea . . . Look, I’ll talk to you later, okay? I have to go.” I didn’t wait to see what her response was before bolting out the door.

  I didn’t have—had never had—a car and when Race disappeared he had taken his car with him. It was just one more reason I was worried about what happened to him because it was a really nice car and the likelihood of someone trying to steal it was as high as the junkie on the corner. I twisted my riotous hair into a ponytail and pulled a slouchy gray hat over the mass. If anyone was going to recognize me, it would be from the hair, and not the nondescript jeans, baggy black sweater, and worn-out Converses I had on. I looked just like every other street kid wandering aro
und, and Bax had seemed entirely unimpressed with my minimal assets as it was, so it wasn’t like he would be looking for me anyway.

  Bar after bar. Strip club after strip club. Men and women making a living in a way that had been around since the dawn of time colored every block, every bend in the District. Trying to find a place called Spanky’s when every other joint was named something similar with the same thinly veiled innuendo was a lot harder than I thought it would be. When I finally did locate it, I was loath to go in.

  It was neon. It was pink. It screamed debauchery and dirty things. Just standing on the sidewalk made my skin crawl. My life wasn’t pretty and rosy, but I had never been low enough to think that getting naked and selling myself was a way out. I gave myself a mental pep talk and forced myself to open the door. I couldn’t stop from rubbing my hand on the thigh of my jeans after I was inside. It was just as pink and gaudy on the interior. My eyes darted around, trying to figure out the best place to hide out and be unobtrusive, when a hand clamped down on my arm and whipped me around.

  “You old enough to be in here, girly?” The behemoth African-American man gave me a little shake. His bald head gleamed under the neon-pink lights and I felt my heart lodge in my throat. Aside from the diamond in his front tooth and the snarl on his face, there was no missing the gun he had snuggled to his side in a leather holster. I was used to violence and the unsavory things that happened in this part of town, but guys with guns was new, and I wasn’t sure how to proceed without making a fool of myself or blowing my shot at checking up on Bax.

  “I am.”

  “You aren’t here to work or to watch.” It wasn’t a question. “What are you doing here?”

  I tried to pry my arm loose, but didn’t get anywhere. “I’m looking for someone.”

  That was the wrong thing to say because his ebony brows slammed down and he gave me another little shake. My teeth clicked together and I tasted blood.

  “Look, little girl, if your man stepped out on you, that’s your problem. You got a beef with one of the girls, you handle that on your own time and not during working hours. Understand?”

  That must be a regular problem if they had this guy here to prevent catfights before they started.

  “Run along. Go buy some lipstick or something, and maybe next time your fella won’t have to come looking for a good time down here.”

  My pride made me bristle against my will and I pulled on my captured arm again. I was about to tell him to go to hell when the door behind me opened. The brisk night air wafted in, along with an electrical charge that was only carried by a force darker and heavier than the air around it.

  “Hey, Chuck. I need to see Honor.” There was no mistaking that rough voice that crackled with authority and cigarette smoke.

  “Hold on a sec, Bax. Gotta escort the riffraff out.”

  Oh, great. Now, if I had been hoping to slide by unnoticed, there was no chance. I could practically feel those dark eyes burning a hole through the back of my head. My other arm was grasped in a steel-like grip, and I was hauled mercilessly around. My hat went flying and my ponytail sprang free and smacked me in the face. I blew on a curl and met a blazing black stare. The star next to his eye throbbed in time to the muscle twitching in his cheek. It was as terrifying as it was fascinating to watch.

  The large bouncer took a step away from me, which sent me falling all the way into Bax. He caught me with his other hand and shook me so hard that my neck made an alarming crack.

  “What in the fuck are you doing here?”

  “You know her?” the bouncer asked drily.

  Bax’s gaze narrowed on me and he gave me a shove that had me scrambling to stay upright on my feet. I felt like a little child being punished for not finishing my dinner. I snatched my hat up and shoved it back on my head and crossed my arms over my chest.

  “No. Race knows her.”

  “Ahhh . . . well, I have to say, he used to have better taste,” the bouncer drawled, just as drily as before. I wanted to smack him. Too bad he was the size of a house.

  “She’s his sister. Lay off.”

  “Sorry.” Only the apology went to Bax, not to me. Go figure.

  “Honor is on the main stage for five more minutes. I told her you were coming by tonight to see her. She didn’t know you were out.”

  “It’s been a busy few days. Just trying to touch base now.”

  “That was a raw deal you got, Bax. We were all sad to see you go down for it.”

  Bax bit out a bitter-sounding laugh that had no humor in it, and jerked me around to his side.

  “I was in the car when the cops stopped me. No getting out of that kind of thing, plus I was a habitual offender. I was lucky all they saddled me with was a nickel.”

  “I heard there was way more to it than that.”

  Those dark eyes flicked to me and then back up to the bouncer. “You heard wrong. I got busted running cars for Novak. That’s all there was to it. Now I’m out and Novak can go fuck himself. I just want to touch base with Race and get on with my life. Five years is a long time to sit on your hands.”

  The bouncer nodded like he understood and I subtly tried to pull myself free. Bax wasn’t having any of it and tightened his grip on me. It hurt, and I think he knew it, if the way those dark eyes narrowed at me indicated.

  “Tell Honor I’ll be there in just a second. I gotta handle this first.” This was me, as he turned around and hauled me back out the door. I squeaked in surprise because I wasn’t used to being manhandled, and I wasn’t used to having that kind of unbridled anger directed at me. I minded my own business, I kept my head down, and I stayed out of the way. That was how I survived as long as I had. Getting right in Bax’s way flew in the face of all that, and now this was the consequence.

  “What are you doing here? How do you know about this place?”

  I wasn’t going to answer that, and I also wasn’t going to let him intimidate me. I yanked free and spun around with every intention of walking away from him. Only I forgot that I wasn’t dealing with just some guy. This guy, he didn’t get ignored or dismissed, and I subsequently found myself backed up against the crumbling brick of the strip club in a scary part of town with an even scarier man all up in my face. I gasped and put my hands around his thick wrists as he hauled me up to the very tips of my toes and got nose to nose with me. The anger in that midnight gaze was hot enough to burn.

  “You think you can play games with me, Copper-Top? Do I strike you as the kind of guy that’s carefree and easygoing? Now, I’ll ask once more, and that’s as nice as I get, because if you make me ask again, neither one of us is going to be happy about it. What in the fuck are you doing here?”

  Each thick wrist I was holding on to had a matching black-and-gray tattoo of broken links of chain around it. Like he had broken free from some kind of restraint and was set loose to wreak havoc on an unsuspecting world.

  “I’m worried about my brother. He trusts you, thinks you can help him. I need to know what you know. Marco heard you say you were going to be here, so I need to be here. I love him.” My voice cracked, and even though I knew it was foolish to show the enemy weakness, I couldn’t stop tears from filling my eyes.

  “You have no clue what you’re doing. All you can do is be in my way and make trouble for me. Chuck never forgets a face, so if someone comes sniffing around, he’s going to mention a redhead poking her nose where it has no place being. Go back to school. Go back to the diner. Go back to your apartment. If I can find Race, and it’s not too late, I’ll let you know.”

  He let me go and I slid down the wall, my hair snagging on the rough brick. He turned his back on me and I reached out to snag his wrist. I knew desperation, knew the soul-deep burn of want and can’t have, but this was something else.

  “Please, Shane. Please let me help you. He’s my brother. I’ll do anything. I’ll give you anything you want. Please.” I had never begged for anything in my life, and I sure as hell had always been too smart to owe
a debt to a guy like this, but for Race I would do it. I tried to make him see, tried to put everything I was feeling into my gaze, but those black velvet eyes didn’t so much as flinch. He flicked the tip of his tongue out and let his gaze skate over me from the top of my head to the tips of my battered tennis shoes.

  “Are you a virgin, Copper-Top?” I recoiled, because I had no clue what that had to do with anything. I felt heat flood into my face and I crossed my arms over my chest.

  “Why? What on earth does that have to do with anything?”

  He pulled out a cigarette from the pack in the pocket of his hoodie and lifted a dark eyebrow at me.

  “You’ll give me anything? I don’t think you have anything I want, but I was locked up for a very long time. A guy gets lonely.”

  I couldn’t tell if he was baiting me or if he was just being mean and outrageous on purpose. I also couldn’t tell if he was serious, which was the worst case.

  “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  He gave a laugh and blew out a stream of smoke. He ran his thumb along the edge of his bottom lip and stepped around me.

  “No one calls me Shane. It’s just Bax and that’s why you’ll only be in my way. When you say you’re willing to give anything, you have to mean it. These people, they will take it all, even if it’s something you don’t want to give. Go home.”

  His hand was on the door and he was slipping away from me again. I don’t know what spurred me into action, still didn’t know if he was serious or not, but for Race I could do it. I would hate myself, hate this dark and dangerous boy, but I could do it.

  “I’m not . . . a virgin, I mean. No one is anymore, so no one can take it, because Billy Clark already did. I gave it up willingly after drinking a stolen bottle of wine when I was sixteen and he told me I was pretty. He was the first boy who ever did that. I’m not scared of you, Bax. I am, however, scared to death for Race. I will do whatever it takes.”