Unforgiven--Includes a bonus novella Page 4

  When she was a teenager, I was drawn to her when I realized she immediately saw through all of Aaron’s swagger and defense mechanisms. She saw the kind, soft heart he harbored. I admired the way she remained unfailing Kody in the face of constant criticism. She never hid how hard her life was or how she was hurting, and that unfiltered honesty was beautiful. Especially when I was avoiding my own hardships at home like my life depended on it…Unfortunately, I fell into using the same tactics when things starting going south with Aaron.

  When we got older, it was her unwavering loyalty, and the way her love never changed, no matter what my brother did, that hit my heart hardest. Kody never once gave up on Aaron, or even thought about walking away, even when it was pretty clear he was going to hurt her. I loved her love, and was envious none of it was meant for me. I’d never had anyone I could rely on like that. Never had anyone accept me wholeheartedly, faults and all.

  It was a question that had haunted me to this day. What would it be like to be loved by Kody Lawton?

  Rubbing a hand over my face, I turned and headed back the way I had come. There would be time to talk to her about the investigation when she was in better shape. Right now I wanted to make sure her bar stayed in one piece so she didn’t find another reason to hate me when she woke up.

  Chapter 3

  Kody

  I wasn’t sure what time it was when I finally pried my eyes open, but the sun from one of the windows was hitting me in the face. I could hear my staff clinking glassware together downstairs, letting me know the day shift crew had already shown up. I stretched my arms above my head, which was pounding. My eyes were scratchy and my neck was stiff. My stomach was angry at being empty, but also felt like it would revolt if I dared put anything inside it. All in all, it was a hangover for the record books. Thankfully I was no longer dizzy, and some of the hollow emptiness I’d been trying to fill with whiskey had dissipated. I was still mad my father had gone and gotten himself killed. And I was still pissed Hill was right back in the middle of the tragedy taking over my life.

  Thinking of Hill caused my entire body to freeze for a split second, right before it melted. In the haze of my horrendous hangover, I didn’t have a clear recollection of how I’d ended up all cuddly in my office. But I did remember Hill vaulting over the bar like some kind of hero in an old Western. I also clearly recalled him picking me up off the floor like I was something precious and dear to him, and the tender way he held me to his chest. I purposely kept my distance from Hill because I was always terrified I would no longer be able to keep my complicated feelings secret if he put his hands on me. It was easy to let him see the anger and resentment that I used as a shield when there was space between us. But if he got too close…I didn’t doubt he would see right through me—see the undeniable attraction I felt toward him, and the guilt that accompanied it.

  I would never be able to forgive myself for having had feelings for Hill since I was young. I might have fallen in love with his brother, but that didn’t stop my heart from being torn in two the entire time it was happening. When I was young and naive, I was drawn to the goodness in Hill Gamble. He was a stand-up guy. One who wouldn’t be swayed from doing the right thing. He didn’t put on an act the way Case did, didn’t rebel and create chaos the way I did. He simply owned his lot in life and made the best out of a bad situation. I was envious of his ability to compartmentalize the different parts of his life. Later I was jealous because he actually made it out of Loveless and left everyone and everything who’d hurt him behind. I wished I’d been brave enough to do the same.

  When I got older, and things with Aaron became impossible to handle on my own, Hill was the one I leaned on the most. I was terrified of losing the boy I loved, and his brother was the only one who understood that blinding, consuming fear. At least I thought Hill understood. Slowly, over months and eventually years, I realized Hill was pulling away, shutting both me and Aaron out. He wasn’t as quick to answer my middle-of-the-night calls, and his patience for the mess Aaron was making of both our lives eventually ran out. Aaron was slipping through my fingers, but Hill effectively cut me out of his life, and the empty ache of that abandonment still echoed inside my chest.

  Grumbling about the sunlight nearly blinding me, and the reawakened feelings for one sexy Texas Ranger, I stumbled to my desk and found a hairbrush and small bottle of mouthwash I kept stashed there for emergencies. Last night wasn’t the first night I’d crashed on the couch in my office, but it was the first time I’d allowed anyone else into my private space…the first time in a very long time that someone else had put me to bed. I didn’t like the shiver that shot down my spine when I recalled how gently Hill had handled me. My memories were a little foggy still, but I definitely remembered him covering me with a blanket. Considering how argumentative I was whenever I was around him, I had no idea how Hill continually treated me with consideration and kindness, instead of acting like I was the enemy.

  Once I was as freshened up as I could be, I headed back down the creaky stairs and into the mostly empty bar. We were open for lunch, but the place never really picked up until happy hour. It was the day shift employees’ job to keep the bar cleaned and stocked, not that the young, single mother I kept on for sympathy more than her skill did a great job at either. Which was why I was stunned at the sight of my bar sparkling and so clean it looked like a different place. The worn floors gleamed. The bar top was spotless. The glassware sparkled, and each and every table was polished. The place hadn’t looked this good since I first bought it and renovated it.

  Looking around with wide eyes, I grabbed a glass of water and asked Shelby, the daytime waitress, “Did you do all this? I’m impressed.”

  Shelby was perpetually stressed and constantly on her phone during her shift. She was in an endless custody battle with her ex-husband, and half the time I ended up taking care of the customers during her shift, since she was so distracted. We’d gone to high school together and had been acquaintances. When Aaron died, Shelby was one of the few people in town who offered genuine condolences and asked what she could do for me. So when she came begging for a job after her husband left her high and dry, I couldn’t help but hire her. I sometimes regretted my decision, but I couldn’t bring myself to fire her. Looking at the bar, I wondered if she’d finally managed to turn things around.

  The other woman shook her head, platinum blond ponytail swinging. “No way. This wasn’t me. Apparently your friend stayed until close last night and asked the staff to stay until the bar was spick-and-span. Lorenzo was pissed, but stuck around anyway. I woke up to a string of very angry text messages.”

  Lorenzo was my lead bartender. He’d been working crazy hours the last few days while I drank away my feelings. I relied on him a lot and could only imagine the way he would have gotten riled up when asked to stay late and clean by someone who wasn’t me.

  I gulped down a second glass of water and made my way over to the back of the bar, where I kept a bottle of Tylenol. Tossing a couple of pills back, I shook my head a little. “I’ll call Lorenzo and apologize on behalf of Shot. I’m sure he was just trying to help out.”

  Sometimes Shot forgot we were nothing more than friends and business associates. There were times he tended to be even more protective than my older brothers. This wouldn’t be the first time I’d had to warn the biker to back off. Lord only knew if he was ever going to listen.

  “Oh. It wasn’t Shot. It was the guy in the gray Stetson. Lorenzo said he had a badge, but didn’t think he was with the sheriff’s office. I think the only reason Lorenzo stayed was because the guy was in law enforcement.” Shelby smiled brightly as the door to the bar opened. “You know how he is.”

  The smile dimmed some when she realized the customer was Case’s live-in girlfriend, Aspen Barlow. Aspen often popped in for lunch with her clients. She was an attorney, and I think she liked that the low-key, rustic feel of the bar often put the people she was representing at ease. Aspen was originally from Chica
go and had never really managed to blend in with the locals. My bar was familiar and neutral territory. Plus, we’d become very good friends ever since she’d managed to mellow my uptight, stern oldest brother. She was a perfect match for Case, no matter how different the two of them were. She was also a wonderful addition to our fractured, disjointed family. She’d done nothing but try to pull us all together from the start.

  I waved at the tiny, dark-haired attorney and glanced at Shelby from the corner of my eye. “You’re telling me Hill stayed until close last night and made the night shift crew clean the bar before they could go home?” I couldn’t keep the surprise out of my tone.

  Shelby shrugged a shoulder and pulled her cell phone out of the pocket of the short, black apron she was wearing. “He didn’t make them stay. He asked, and no one felt like they could say no. He’s intimidating, and has a badge.” She rolled her eyes as if that explained everything. “I need to go see if the burger for the guy in the back corner is done. I’m sure Lorenzo sent you a bunch of angry messages as well. He’s the one to ask about what happened last night.” She nodded at Aspen, who had to hop in an adorable way to get her small frame up onto one of the bar stools. “Good afternoon, Counselor.”

  Aspen smiled politely in return and watched as Shelby disappeared in the direction of the kitchen. “Is she still mad that I’m now representing her husband in their custody dispute?”

  That was the thing about small towns. Everyone seemed to be connected in one way or another, and there was very little anyone could do to escape the ties that bound us all together…and to the past.

  “Probably. She’s mad about anything that has to do with that guy.” I rubbed a hand over my face and blinked my tired eyes. “Did Case ask you to come check up on me? I told him I would be fine, and I am.” Well, I was my own version of fine, which meant I was holding it together, barely.

  “Her ex isn’t a bad guy, and he really does have the best interest of the kids in mind. I think after enough time passes, Shelby will recognize that.” Aspen lifted a midnight-colored eyebrow and tapped her fingers on the polished bar top. “As for your brother, no, he didn’t ask me to check up on you. He didn’t need to. Everyone’s been worried sick about you since you bolted from Hayes’s graduation party. I had a client cancel on me this afternoon, so I decided I would come and see how you were doing for myself.” She cocked her head to the side and gave me a slight grin. “I’m also starving, so I figured I would kill two birds with one stone.”

  “You want your usual?” When she nodded, I turned and entered it into the point of sale system and poured her a glass of sweet tea. “How is Hayes doing?”

  I loved my nephew. It was totally unfair that the news of my father’s murder had come at the same time my family was supposed to be celebrating Hayes. He’d recently graduated high school and was moving out of state to play college football. There were a lot of big changes happening in the kid’s life, and he shouldn’t have to deal with the upheaval my father’s death was bound to bring when his future was so bright.

  Aspen shifted on the bar stool and traced the drops of moisture on the outside of her glass with her finger.

  “I think Hayes is doing the same as the rest of you are. Confused and sad. Angry that something like this happened, even if it isn’t a huge surprise. Men like your father.” She shook her head. “Nothing in their lives is peaceful. Including the way they leave us.”

  I rested my forearms on the opposite side of the bar and nodded. “My dad always knew how to ruin any good memory we were trying to make. We’re supposed to be sending Hayes off in style and planning a wedding, now we’re all focused on a murder and planning a funeral instead.”

  Our middle sibling, Crew, had recently gotten engaged. His fiancée was another city girl like Aspen. Della was a classy chick with expensive taste. I liked her—I wasn’t as close to her as I was to Aspen, but she made my restless, troubled brother happy. I wanted them to have the wedding of their dreams and not have their happy moment overshadowed by my father. Even in death he was spreading darkness over our lives, and frankly, I was sick of it.

  Shelby swung by the bar, dropping Aspen’s plate with her favorite fried chicken sandwich on the wood in front of her. She swished away without another word, causing both Aspen and me to roll our eyes at her behavior.

  “I helped Case get everything together to lay your father to rest properly as soon as Hill and the Rangers release his body. No matter how awful Conrad was, all of you need to say goodbye and get some kind of closure. We need to do it as a family, united, the same way you survived him when you were growing up.” She gave me a curious look as she picked up a French fry. “Hill mentioned he still hadn’t had a chance to talk to you yet and that he was going to come by the bar. Have you seen him?”

  I let my head drop so that I was staring at the floor. “He came by last night. I wasn’t exactly up to answering questions.” Or behaving like a civil human being. “I’ll track him down sooner or later.” If he had been the one behind the spring-cleaning of the bar, I owed him a thank-you. If I managed to get the words out.

  Even when I had good intentions where Hill was concerned, they always seemed to go south on me. It was always hard for me to see around the sense of betrayal Hill made me feel and the blame I couldn’t seem to let go of. If he hadn’t shut me out, if he hadn’t turned a blind eye, maybe things would have ended differently…for all of us.

  Aspen took a big bite of her fried chicken sandwich and let out a little hum of delight. She always ordered the same thing when she came in. I had no idea how she stayed as petite as she did.

  Aspen gave me a knowing look. “I don’t blame you for not wanting to answer his questions. When he got involved in my case, he didn’t hold back when he was questioning me and brought some very painful truths from my past to light. He doesn’t play nice, which is what makes him good at his job. I can also see why he’s one of the few people Case trusts and believes in. They’re very similar in some ways.”

  Case and Aspen had fallen in love during a tumultuous few weeks when my brother had been trying to figure out who wanted the sassy lawyer dead. After many bullets and more bloodshed than I wanted to remember, Aspen’s own mother was revealed as the mastermind behind all the attempts on her daughter’s life. The Rangers sent Hill in to help Case manage the media coverage of the case, and to help track down the shooter who’d put the entire town at risk while trying to take Aspen out. It didn’t surprise me in the least that Hill had grilled Aspen and dug up every secret she had. He was ruthless when it came to getting to the truth of a matter, which was why it was a bitter pill to swallow that he hadn’t been able to see what was happening with Aaron. He managed to dig up everyone else’s secrets, but had remained oblivious to how serious his younger brother’s struggles were.

  I knocked my knuckles on the bar and muttered, “They’re alike in all the annoying ways. They’re both bossy, demanding, stubborn, and always think they know best. Anyway, I need to make some calls and smooth out ruffled feathers. Hill took it upon himself to wrangle my staff into deep cleaning this place late last night.” I made sure my annoyance at his high-handedness was clear in my tone.

  Aspen chuckled behind the napkin she was using to wipe her mouth. “I was wondering why everything was so spotless.” She arched her dark eyebrows in my direction. “I think it’s kind of sweet he went out of his way to help out. He obviously knows how much this place means to you, and I know he’s been working crazy hours on your father’s case. He was probably exhausted, but he stuck around to make sure your bar was taken care of, and in even better shape than you left it.”

  Scowling at her, I pointed at her now-empty plate. “You wanna pay in cash or put that on a card?”

  She grinned at me as she reached for her purse. I typically never charged her, even though she always insisted on paying and leaving a tip, no matter how bad the service she’d received. “So you’re making me pay today?”

  I snorted and cro
ssed my arms over my chest. “When you’re Team Hill, you pay full price.”

  Aspen tossed her head back and let out a loud laugh. I snatched her credit card up as she pushed it across the bar in my direction. “I’m always Team Lawton, but I can appreciate a good play by the opposing team.”

  I sniffed in annoyance, reaching for the phone when it started to ring, more to save my pounding head from this discussion than from any real desire to speak to whoever was on the other end.

  “Thanks for calling the Barn. What can I do for you?” I popped a hip on the back bar and tossed Aspen her credit card. She deftly caught it in one hand as I put the receipt in front of her and slammed down a ballpoint pen with more force than necessary. I ignored her quiet chuckle and turned my attention to the phone call.

  “Hey. I’ve been calling your cell phone for hours. Why aren’t you picking up?” Shot’s deep growl thundered through the earpiece and made my head throb. I squinted against a bolt of pain and tightened my grip on the receiver.

  “I must’ve left it on silent. It’s upstairs somewhere, and I’m down in the bar…working.” I was snippier than I usually was with him, but I didn’t like the accusation in his voice. “I would’ve called you back as soon as I saw your missed call. You know that.”

  He swore, and I could easily picture the familiar scowl that usually accompanied the frustrated sound.

  “I was worried about you. Didn’t care for that cop butting in last night.” Shot grunted and quietly reminded me, “You need to be careful who you let get close, Kody.”

  I sighed and rubbed at my forehead. It was a warning I didn’t need. It was hard enough to keep Case and Crew out of my business dealings with Shot and the Sons of Sorrow. I knew Case had his suspicions as to how exactly I kept my bar up and running, but he never asked. It was for the best he didn’t pry. He would be greatly disappointed at what he found. As for Hill, there would be no forgiveness and no looking the other way if all my complicated ties to Shot Caldwell and his club came to light.