Blacklisted Read online

  Keep the key, Presley.”

  Kody deliberately slid a copy of her house key back across the scarred wood of the bar top and gave me a hard look. “I want you to know there is always a safe place for you. I want you to know that you are always welcome in my home. I need you to understand that only family gets keys to the front door, and you are part of my family.” She huffed a little bit and picked up a towel to wipe down a nonexistent spot on the bar in front of where I was sitting. “I don’t want you to leave in the first place. It’s nice having someone around while Hill is away on assignment.” She pouted and it made her look adorable. It was a look I could never pull off, no matter how similar our faces were.

  I’d purposely waited until she was busy at work to drop by and tell her I was going back to my apartment. There’d been no progress on finding whoever took the shots outside my building, and I was sick and tired of living in constant fear and hiding from everything and everyone who might cause me harm. Shot’s words about me giving my life up wouldn’t stop echoing inside my head. Over the last few days I’d come to the conclusion he was right, and it was time to stop living in stasis and regain control of my life and my future. Not only was I going back to my apartment temporarily, I was also going back to work.

  I was done being a sitting duck.

  “Okay, I’ll keep it.” I picked up the key and twirled the ring holder around my finger. Kody lifted her head and a smile broke through the grim look on her face. I smiled back and told her, “And once I find a place of my own, a permanent place, I promise I will get you your very own copy of my front door key, because I want to be a safe place for you as well.”

  She blinked in surprise and abandoned pretending like she was cleaning. “Wait. You’re going to look for a new place? Here in Loveless, right?” She didn’t bother to cover the slight panic in the last question.

  I reached out and patted the back of her hand, instinctively trying to ease her sudden fear. “I’m going back to work, so that means I need to find a place closer to Ivy.” Ivy, Texas, was a suburb outside of Austin and only an hour or so away from Loveless. “I was thinking I’d look for something in between here and there.”

  I also wanted to find somewhere that was my idea of perfect. All my life I’d bounced between apartments, condos, and town houses because it was just me while my mom was in and out of the hospital. I was too busy taking care of her and working to worry about the upkeep of any kind of property, so temporary and tiny worked. Now my outlook on everything was different. I wanted somewhere lasting, someplace that required me to care for it and put my mark on it. I also had a family to think of now, as Kody was so fond of reminding me. I might need more space in the future, since they’d made it clear they weren’t going anywhere anytime soon. And maybe, once I was settled, I could even get a dog. I’d always wanted one, but there had never been time or enough emotional availability.

  I squeezed Kody’s hand and tilted my head to the side to consider her carefully. She’d gotten past all my defenses without me even being aware they had been breached. I’d stopped fighting her when she insisted that I join girls’ night along with Case’s and Crew’s significant others. I’d also stopped feeling like a total outsider when I was with them. It was starting to feel like maybe I had a place where I really belonged.

  Kody and I even spent late nights chatting when she came home from the bar while I was camped out at her place. We talked about everything from the serious threat still hanging over my head to the differences in our upbringings. She answered questions about our father, even though I knew it was painful for her, and I tried to explain what it was like growing up being smarter than everyone around me. Over the last few weeks I found myself actually wanting to spend time with her. As over the top and noisy as she was, there was something about being in her company that soothed all the frayed edges of my nerves. It was similar to how I felt when I was around Shot. There was just something about their larger-than-life personalities that helped me forget to be afraid and lonely.

  “You know you can always call me if you’re lonely while Hill is gone.” I knew how dark and heavy loneliness could be. The weight of it could be crushing.

  Kody gave me a grin that was unmistakably grateful as she moved away to help a customer tapping on an empty glass a few seats down. After she poured the beer and took another order, she moved back to where I was sitting. “Hill says we spend a lot of time alone together. We were both independent, driven people before we got together. Each of us had our own plans and ideas about what the future should look like. I was worried when we made things official and moved in with one another it’d get annoying being constantly in each other’s space. Shockingly, we ended up fitting together seamlessly. It’s like we already knew how to move around one another, and move with each other. I do really miss him when he’s gone, but I try not to tell him that too often. I don’t want him to worry. There are times that I’ve felt like I’ve had to relearn how to be by myself.”

  I took the glass of water she set in front of me. I didn’t want to make light of the fact that she was showing a shockingly vulnerable part of herself. She was prickly and thorny, but underneath that armor she had a very soft center. “Well, we can be alone together as well. I spent most of my life alone, so I’m the opposite of you. I’m having to relearn how to be around others and not take for granted the fact that people actually want my company.”

  Kody let out a boisterous laugh like I was joking and asked me if I wanted to order something to eat, since it was dinnertime. It was an obvious tactic to change the subject, so I told her I’d already grabbed something with one of my former colleagues when I’d gone to tell my old boss I was ready to accept the promotion they’d been holding for me.

  “You’re really going back to work?” She seemed surprised by my decision but not discouraging.

  Then Kody motioned for one of her staff to come behind the bar so she could take a seat next to me on one of the vintage bar stools. The Barn, her honky-tonk bar on the outside of Loveless’s city limits, was an old horse barn she had refurbished from the ground up. The place was a mix of country-western and boho chic. It had its own vibe that was totally Kody, and lately business had been booming. When I first met her, she admitted she was struggling and the only reason the bar stayed afloat was because she had a business agreement with the Sons of Sorrow. When Hill reentered her life, she’d cut those ties and had to figure out how to survive on her own. Step-by-step she was making it, and even though our relationship was new, I felt incredibly proud of her.

  I traced a finger down the wet side of the glass in front of me and responded, “Someone told me if I really wanted to push Ashby to make a move, I needed to live my life as if she was inconsequential. Her ultimate goal was to take everything away from me, and that’s exactly what I let her do by hiding out and pushing everyone away. What I ultimately want is justice. I want justice for Conrad, for my mother, and for myself. I worked my ass off for that promotion. I deserved it, then and now. Why should I let her win?”

  Kody nodded aggressively in agreement. “It’s brave to go back knowing it might trigger retribution and put you in danger.”

  I sighed and turned my head to look at her. “I told them that I couldn’t be directly involved in handling any evidence or official rulings until Ashby is behind bars. I want her convicted of tampering with my previous cases so there is zero question as to whether or not I’m qualified to handle any case that comes my way. For now, I’m going to supervise the existing staff, handle some consulting for the bigger offices that are understaffed around the state, and do some guest lecture spots at different universities.” I was also going to dig deeper into my mother’s murder. I was still the only one who questioned the how and the why of it all. I was the only one convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that her death, while imminent because of her illness, had been helped along and hurried. The questions I harbored felt like they were growing to the point I could barely think of anything else. I
needed closure in more ways than one, just like Shot had so bluntly pointed out.

  Kody turned to look at the door to the bar when an audible murmur worked through the patrons at the sight of a new arrival. “It sounds like you’ve thought this all through. When you’re ready to start house hunting, let me know. I’d love to tag along.” She hopped off her stool as her bouncer put a hand on Shot’s chest to stop the biker from stepping around him.

  Harris, the big, bearded, redheaded bouncer who was a former rodeo clown and a friend of Crew’s, was super thankful to the Lawtons for landing him the gig at the bar when he was in a tough spot. It was no secret he was extra protective of Kody and the bar, and now that she’d claimed me as her sister, that watchful eye fell on me as well. It appeared he hadn’t yet forgiven Shot and his boys for bursting in and bleeding all over the floor a couple of months ago. But as tough and burly as Harris was, he was no match for Shot.

  Kody yelped in alarm and quickened her pace, scurrying across the bar to put out the potential fire. I decided to make my exit as quickly as possible because I was trying to stick to my conviction that we didn’t really have any reason to be around one another. I hadn’t seen him in several days, and I figured my lingering fascination with him would die a natural death given enough space. Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to be the case. When I was alone at night I wondered about both the man and the biker. I wondered how different the two were, or if there was any difference at all. So far I’d only ever dealt with Shot, and I wondered what the man underneath the leather and badass bravado was actually like.

  And even though I’d never admit it to another living soul, there was more than one night when I’d woken up short of breath and tangled in the covers because my dreams had taken on a life of their own, with Shot as the star. I wasn’t used to having a man make my heart race, especially when he wasn’t even in the same room as I was. I was avoiding all of it—the feelings, the reactions, and most importantly the man. Only, Shot didn’t look like he intended to keep being ignored.

  As I walked toward where Kody was determinedly putting herself between the two large men, I felt his dark gaze settle on me and stay there. The intensity of it made my skin prickle and warm. I gulped in response and shifted my eyes to the floor. I swore the man could see right through me, including my unexpected reaction to him. I hated feeling like there was no way to hide anything from him.

  “I don’t want him in here, Kody. He’s nothing but trouble, and your brothers don’t like him.” Harris had a thick drawl and deep voice. Sometimes he sounded like the character Boomhauer from the old cartoon King of the Hill. His words blended together and became indecipherable when he was excited about something.

  Kody put her hands on the bouncer’s barrel chest and nudged him backward. “I like him. My brothers don’t get a vote about anything that happens in this bar. Back off, Harry.”

  I cleared my throat and nodded in greeting when Shot lifted an eyebrow in my direction, carefully watching as I tried to skirt about where they were all gathered. “I’m going to get going. It was a long day. I’ll see you later, Kody.”

  She bobbed her head distractedly and gave a half-hearted wave, still trying to keep the bouncer from rushing at the biker. “I’ll give you a call later. Be safe, Presley.”

  I went to step around the melee when a rough hand wrapped around my arm right above my elbow, stopping my detour. I couldn’t stop the chills that followed Shot’s deep and authoritative “I’ll walk you out.”

  The bickering bar workers both stopped and fell silent as they watched me work on prying Shot’s fingers off my arm. I didn’t want to cause another scene by trying to escape, but the need to get away from him and how he made me feel was burning through my veins. “No. It’s fine. It’s a quick walk and I parked under one of the lights in the parking lot and Case still has his deputies patrolling the area. I’ll be fine on my own.”

  “Stop being stubborn. Remember what happened last time you were in a parking lot at night?” He tugged on my arm, making me fall into line next to him. When I was practically plastered to his side, I noticed that his movements seemed stiff and that he was favoring one of his legs.

  Before I could comment on his condition, Kody was bending down, looking at the back of Shot’s leg, her face alarmingly close to his backside.

  “What’s wrong with you? Why are you favoring one side? Are you hurt?” She reached out to touch a dark spot on the denim covering his strong-looking thigh, only to have Shot try to knock her hand away. “What happened to you, Shot?”

  He didn’t have the mobility to shoo Kody off because he refused to loosen the hold he had on my arm and his other hand was too far away to reach her. “It’s nothing. I already had Stitch take care of it.”

  Kody reached for the spot on his pants again, only to have him clumsily evade her probing hands by lurching in my direction and nearly falling over. Bewildered by his suspicious behavior, she snapped, “Stop being shy. It’s not like I haven’t seen it all before.”

  That exclamation had all of us pausing and going awkwardly still. I knew Kody was close to Shot prior to her relationship with Hill, but I hadn’t realized exactly how close they were. It never occurred to me they might be former lovers, though given their similar personalities, and stubbornness, it made a lot of sense.

  Shot cleared his throat and started to pull me out the front door. “I’m gonna walk your sister out to her car. You can give me the third degree some other time.”

  Finding myself more irritated than the situation called for, I forcibly pried my arm free from the almost-punishing hold Shot had on it and marched out of the bar, failing to call out a final parting to my sister on the way. Shot followed at a slower pace, his gait uneven and his face set in hard lines as I turned to confront him.

  I took a deep breath, shoved my noticeably shaking hands through my hair and ordered him, “Stop. Stop ignoring me when I tell you something. Stop pulling me around after you. Stop inserting yourself into situations where you weren’t invited.”

  I blinked in surprise at my own reaction and at the stunned expression on his face. I didn’t get vocal and forceful like this and wasn’t sure how to handle the response, mine or his.

  His dark eyes narrowed slightly and a furrow pulled at his brows. The corners of his mouth tilted down in a slight frown, and a muscle in his tanned cheek started to twitch. Maybe I should have been concerned that I was obviously making him angry. But I couldn’t put the brakes on now that I was speaking my mind and trying to shove him into the safe and secure box I’d designated for him.

  “I keep telling you that we don’t owe each other anything. I know you’re used to getting your own way, but not with me. If you can’t respect the boundaries I’ve made very clear, I’d rather you pretend we’re strangers, just like I’m trying to do. I’m fighting to take my life back while not losing it, or myself, in the process. I really don’t have the time or energy to fight you as well.”

  Shot stared at me in silence for a long, drawn-out moment. The tension between us was suffocating. I knew he probably wasn’t used to having someone talk back to him the way I just had, but I’d had it with everyone trying to steamroll over me in the guise of it being for my own good. I’d had to make difficult choices and stand on my own through the consequences since I was little. I didn’t need someone to hold my hand through every mistake I was bound to make, even if I appreciated the effort.

  “I know you can do it on your own. I’ve never questioned how capable you are.” Shot took a step toward me, driving me backward into the shadow cast by the bar behind me. “Did it occur to you that you don’t have to do things on your own? You don’t have to walk through town to the drugstore on your own. You don’t have to walk to your car in a dark parking lot alone. You have plenty of people around you willing to be there for you while your neck is on the line.” I shook my head and gasped as my back hit the wood of the old barn as he pressed even closer. I put my hands up in front of me as Sh
ot deliberately stepped into my space and growled, “Would it kill you to accept help when it’s offered, regardless of where it’s coming from?”

  “I’ve been on my own my entire life. I never needed anyone to help me.” The argument sounded weak, and we both knew it.

  Even injured, he was still the most intimidating man I’d ever met. I put my hands on his chest to hold him back when he leaned into me so that our chests were touching. I could feel his breath on the side of my face, and the controlled fury radiating off his strong body where it pressed against mine.

  “Do you know how many people Kody has looking out for her each and every day?” He growled the words into my ear as the fingers of one of his hands gently wrapped around my jaw and held my head still. “Her brothers. Their women. Her staff. That Texas Ranger. She’s a tough cookie, but she’s always been protected and had someone at her back. She knows she can’t do everything on her own. She knows it’s okay to rely on people she can trust, on people who care about her. She’s stubborn, but she isn’t stupid.”

  He moved my face so we were nearly eye to eye. “Eventually, you’re going to have to recognize that you have a crowd around you just like Kody does. There is no reason for you to keep on thinking you are fighting this fight alone.”

  I made a strangled noise and lifted a hand to wrap around his wide, tattooed wrist. I intended to pull his hand away from my face but got thoroughly distracted when I could feel his pulse racing under my fingertips.

  His voice dropped to a low, intimate whisper as his words caressed my skin. “I’m the one who is going to purposely cross your path. I’m never going to walk the other way when I see you coming. I’m going to head right toward you.” He chuckled and rubbed his thumb along the line of my jaw. Goose bumps immediately broke out all over my skin, and I wondered if he could hear my heart pounding inside my chest because it sounded super loud to my own ears.

  “The only reason I stopped in the bar tonight was because I saw your car in the parking lot.” His dark eyebrows winged upward, and the smirk that crossed his face should have been illegal in all fifty states. “My leg is killing me and I have other things I should be doing, but I couldn’t convince myself to keep going on my way when I knew you were close by. I wanted to see you. I wanted to make sure you were safe and sound. The need was too big to fight, so I’m going to stop trying.”