Blacklisted Page 8

  His face moved even closer to mine and I stopped functioning. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t see straight. Couldn’t hear anything other than my heart pounding. I couldn’t feel anything other than the heat of his body against mine.

  He kept talking and I was ready to beg him to stop. Every time he opened his mouth, he said something else that was absolutely confusing and a total turn-on. My entire system was ready to short-circuit at his proximity and his softly worded warning.

  “As for boundaries, I approve of you having them and knowing what they are. As long as they’re in your best interest I’ll respect the hell out of them. But if it’s something stupid, like you proving you don’t need anyone or anything by walking to your car in a dark parking lot, I’m gonna go ahead and ignore that shit because I’d rather have you mad at me and offended than dead.”

  The tip of his nose dragged across my cheekbone, and I swore he flicked the tip of his tongue against the shell of my ear. I’d never shivered so hard in my life. This guy had the uncanny ability to turn me inside out, and it baffled me. I kept reminding myself he wasn’t my type, but my body and my hormones weren’t listening…at all.

  I thought he was going to kiss me.

  I prepared for it.

  I told myself I would stop him, that I would scream my fool head off if he made an inappropriate move.

  So, it made absolutely no sense that the disappointment I felt when instead he pushed away from me was heavy enough it nearly flattened me. I jolted when Shot grabbed my hand and muttered, “I’m taking you to your car, not because you need me to, but because I want to. I don’t want to see anything happen to you, and regardless of how you feel about me, I know you can understand that.”

  I had no idea what I was going to do with him, or how to keep him from interfering in my life anymore. The truth was that there was no place in the life I was preparing to go back to for someone like Shot Caldwell. It was boring, predictable, and staid…well, it would be once no one was trying to kill me. And who was I to expect someone who lived their life full tilt, full speed, and out of control to try and understand that? To try and find their space inside the stillness?

  Not me. I would never. Could never, which was why it was better to walk away.

  Chapter 7

  Shot

  What happened to your leg?”

  The soft question came after Presley noticeably slowed down her hurried pace across the parking lot to match mine. The slight limp I had, due to the buckshot that’d been recently picked out of my leg, was impossible to hide. I hadn’t planned on making a stop at the bar because I didn’t want to get the third degree from Kody. But as soon as I caught sight of Presley’s car in the parking lot my plans changed. It wasn’t like we had a lot of reason to run into one another regularly as it was, and now that it seemed like she was actively avoiding me, I felt like I hadn’t seen her in weeks. I was compelled to stop so I could see her. So I could hear her voice. So I could see for myself that she was safe and still in one piece. She’d been on my mind a lot, which was a new experience for me. I hadn’t lied when I told her I was done fighting myself and the logic that screamed it would be better for both of us to keep some distance.

  I grunted as I gave her the CliffsNotes version of how I got injured. “Ran into a situation with the club and ended up taking some buckshot in the back of my thigh. Hurts like a son of a bitch, but it’s not too serious.”

  “You always seem to have someone shooting at you. I’d say that’s pretty serious.” Presley shifted her gaze away from mine and frowned out into the darkness around us. “It seems like an exhausting way to live. Don’t you get tired of always being injured and barely surviving dangerous situations?” A slight frown crossed her delicate features and her words dropped to a whisper I could barely hear. “I’d hate it if you ended up the victim in one of my murder cases. That would be devastating.”

  She didn’t want me to end up dead.

  The thought made the area around my heart tingle just a little bit. It wasn’t a feeling I’d ever really experienced before. Not even with Kody. I was pretty good at keeping my emotions and expectations in check. I was realistic when it came to knowing what I did and didn’t have to offer someone else. I wasn’t a good bet when it came to starting anything serious with a woman, and there had yet to be one who made me want to change that. However, I was starting to wonder if the pretty doctor was going to be the one who inspired me to look at my life and my choices in a new way.

  “I grew up in a motorcycle club. My mom took off before I could walk, and my old man lived and breathed the Sons of Sorrow. He was one of the founding members of the club.” I grinned reflexively, burying old pain behind false bravado. “I was practically feral as a kid, and not much changed when I joined the military. The Marines said they saw potential in me, but what they really saw was a kid who had already experienced his fair share of violence and wasn’t one to shy away from doing the dirty work. They took a wild teenager and molded him into a ruthless killer.”

  I paused when Presley let out a small gasp. Her eyes were big as she watched me carefully. I was pretty sure she didn’t realize we’d both stopped walking as I started telling her about my past.

  “I’ve seen the worst the world has to offer, and I’m not only talking about war. Even now, one of the main reasons my branch of the club survives and funds itself without being involved in drugs and prostitution is because we go into the places in the world other people are afraid of. We provide protection. We bring the lost back home. We use the training the government gave most of us to keep alive people that others want dead.”

  I lifted my eyebrows at her and shifted my weight off of my injured leg. It was starting to burn, but I was going to power through the pain as long as Presley wasn’t running away from me. I wasn’t used to being the one who did the chasing. It was far more common that I was the one running because the person trying to catch me wanted more than I was willing to give.

  “Death isn’t something I’m afraid of. It’s been a constant in my life since before I fully understood the permanence of it. I don’t think you can live life fully and appreciate the important memories and moments unless you recognize everything we have and everyone we love will eventually be gone.”

  When I was done talking, Presley vibrated with a whole-body shiver, as if she could easily imagine pulling back the sheet and seeing my lifeless body in her morgue. I figured it wasn’t a good move to tell her I was more likely to put someone else there than I was to end up on the slab. She already had enough reasons, many of them valid, for running away from me. I wasn’t about to give her another one. Almost as if she could sense the morbid and dark turn of my thoughts, she shook off the stillness and resumed her steady march toward her car.

  I couldn’t tell if she was talking to me or herself when she stated, “Death has been a constant in my life as well. I think I respect it more than you do, though.”

  “What do you mean?” I was seriously annoyed that my injured leg kept me a few steps behind her. I really was chasing after her in more ways than one. I was also irritated at how casually she dismissed my complicated relationship with life and death. I profoundly respected the power of both love and loss in someone’s life. I didn’t know much about love, but I was pretty much an expert when it came to all the different kinds of loss a person could go through. I kept my emotions in check because it was expected of me as the leader of my club. But I wasn’t a heartless monster, even if being one, the way my father had wanted, would make my life and my lifestyle easier.

  “My mother was sick my whole childhood. I never knew how long I was going to have with her. There were as many bad days as good. I lived every single day knowing her death was inevitable. I tried not to be scared, since I knew it was coming and there was no stopping it. No matter how rich you are, how well you lived, what kind of deal you made with the devil, death is one thing all humans have in common. It’s one thing that ties us all together.”

&nbs
p; We were almost to her car, so her pace slowed a little and she turned her head so I could see her profile. I felt like I’d learned more about her in these last five minutes than in any of our other encounters. I wanted to believe she was getting more comfortable around me, but that could just be wishful thinking. Selfishly wanting a few more moments with her, I asked, “Is that why you became a medical examiner? To prove to yourself that you weren’t afraid?”

  She nodded as I moved closer. “Partly. I chose to be a medical examiner because I couldn’t handle the thought of being the person trying to delay the inevitable. I’m not strong enough to fight the battle for life and losing it. The idea of not being able to save someone…” She trailed off and I saw her shoulders slump. “It’s too much. I remember how my mother cried when she was told she was going to die no matter what the doctor did. I will never forget how helpless and hopeless I felt when we got the news. I never wanted to be in a position to bring that disappointment into someone’s life. Instead, I picked a field where I get to tell people that I’ll make sure their loved one didn’t die in vain. I don’t go up against death, I make sense of it for those who are left behind because I understand it so well.”

  She stopped at her car. As she beeped the door open, she asked, “Did the situation you ran into recently have anything to do with the shooting in the parking lot in front of my apartment?”

  I wasn’t shocked at the subject change, since things were getting pretty intense for such a short walk in the dark. “More than likely.”

  I still wasn’t a hundred percent certain Jed Coleman was behind that incident. Regardless, he was no longer a threat to either of us, which meant anything that occurred in the future was undoubtedly because of her friend turned enemy. It would make keeping her safe a tad bit easier. “But that doesn’t mean you can be any less vigilant. Your plan is to purposely trigger a psychopath. You have to take extra precautions when it comes to safety now that you’ve decided it’s time to take your life back.” Which I assumed meant she was going back to her apartment and work.

  She lifted her chin in a sign of agreement. “I feel like I haven’t been able to breathe since my mother died and I found out who my father was and the Lawtons all came charging into my life with guns blazing. The walls have been closing in, and sometimes I feel like I can’t move.”

  I glanced over my shoulder into the darkness around the parking lot to make sure nothing seemed out of place. The only thing that didn’t fit was the elegant woman in front of me. She wasn’t the usual type to frequent Kody’s rowdy bar. I knew instinctively that Presley Baskin wasn’t a jeans-and-cowboy-boots kind of woman. I doubt she knew how to two-step or the words to “Cotton-Eyed Joe.” She tended to dress in all black, and she always seemed to be more covered up than the Texas heat called for. The mystery of what she looked like underneath all the fabric was one I dreamed about solving. Her tendency toward darker clothes also made her pale skin and coppery hair seem brighter and more vibrant than they actually were. I felt like I could find her in the darkest corner of the world without even trying. She was pretty in a different way than I was normally attracted to. She wasn’t about flash, but when I looked at her, it seemed like she was lit from within.

  I reached out and brushed a piece of coppery hair away from her pale cheek. It was a silk ribbon wrapping around my fingers, and I knew if there was enough light to see her clearly, she would be blushing. I grinned as she practically jumped out of her skin. One of these days she was going to stop starting like a frightened doe when I got close enough to touch her. Even if she wanted to pretend that the chemistry that sparked to life whenever we were together didn’t exist, her body and addictive reactions couldn’t help but betray her. I bent my head so I could put my lips next to her ear, grinning as she jolted when I spoke softly.

  “The walls haven’t been closing in, they’ve been knocked down, and you can see far and wide. Your world is so much bigger now that it’s a lot to take in. That’s why you can’t breathe. It’s all a matter of perspective.”

  She blinked up at me and I could almost see her searching for the right words, or any words, really. She said I was walking all over her boundaries, and maybe I was a little bit. But from what I saw so far, she could do with pushing a few of those lines she’d drawn so clearly for herself. She was used to living carefully and by the book. Even though I didn’t know her well, I could tell she was stronger than she seemed to believe. She wouldn’t have been able to save my life if she didn’t have a spine made of steel hidden away in that graceful line of her back.

  Being this close to her, and having her warm, soft skin so close to my mouth was torture. I really wanted to kiss her. I almost did earlier when I had her backed against the building, but I also wanted her to know I heard her when she said I couldn’t just do whatever I wanted. Even with her staring at my lips like she was starving and they were the first meal she’d seen in months, I made myself be respectful. Instead of making the move I desperately wanted to, I took a step back and followed her to her car like I originally intended. I could be a good guy when I needed to be. However, I questioned if I was going to have the willpower to do it again.

  I reached past her, bringing our bodies closer together so I could knock my knuckles on the roof of her car.

  “Get in and go home.” I didn’t tell her I planned on following her to make sure nothing happened on the way. She wouldn’t like it, but it wasn’t for her peace of mind. It was for mine.

  She was turning to pull the door open when a sudden, deafening bang rang through the parking lot. It was loud enough to make my ears ring, but I knew immediately it was nothing to worry about. It was just a car backfiring.

  In the dark and already on high alert, Presley obviously assumed the sound was something else. She shrieked, which made my ears ring even more. She also jumped a foot in the air and threw herself into my arms, hitting my chest hard enough to make me grunt in surprise. Her arms locked around my neck and she buried her face into my shoulder. I reflexively put a hand on the back of her head, my fingers threading through her feather-soft hair.

  “Shhhh…it was just a car backfiring. You’re fine. Everything is okay.” I didn’t have a lot of experience with soothing someone else, but I was willing to try and wing some compassion for her. I kept muttering soft reassurances until I felt her body stop shaking. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you, Presley.”

  It was a bold declaration, one I was determined to follow through on.

  She knocked her forehead against my collarbone, and I felt her fingers curl around the back of my neck. Her breathing remained rapid, but it no longer seemed rough with fear.

  “When I’m around you, I can’t decide if I’m the safest I’ve ever been, or in more danger than ever.” The words whispered against my skin, and I felt a slight tremor where her hands were clutching at me. “It doesn’t make any sense.”

  I chuckled as I put my free hand on the base of her spine. I liked the way we fit together. I knew we shouldn’t. All the parts and pieces we were made of didn’t match, yet somehow and someway we clicked. “I am dangerous.” No use in lying about it, not with the way we’d first met. “Right now, maybe you need someone dangerous in your life.” And maybe I’d finally reached the point in my life where I was ready for someone who balanced out all the rough and ragged edges. When I was around her, the raging river of my life felt like it slowed to a trickle. Some days it was hard to keep my head above water, but when I was around Presley, I felt like I finally had my feet firmly on the ground.

  When she pulled back to look at me, with worried eyes, I couldn’t resist lowering my head so I could seal my mouth over hers. The temptation was too much. She was too close, and her racing heartbeat was too compelling. I didn’t know when I was going to be this close to her, or if she was going to be caught off guard like this again. She gasped against my lips and her nails dug into my scalp. There was surprise in her actions, but not protest. I expected hesitation or even a smal
l amount of reserve and shyness, so I was stunned when she lifted up on her toes and pulled my head closer. Once I realized what I was doing, I assumed she was going to make me work for the smallest reaction. Instead, I ended up with an armful of highly responsive woman who was setting my insides on fire with a simple kiss.

  For someone who was cool and collected on the outside, Presley Baskin burned hot and fast as soon as our lips locked. She kissed me back with a kind of quiet desperation, almost as if she was afraid she would never be kissed again.

  I’d kissed a lot of women in my day. A kiss was always a pretty pleasant experience. However, this particular kiss was on another level. There was nothing simply pleasant about it. It was better than good. It was as close to perfect as I’d ever come. It was the kind of kiss that made the earth shift beneath my feet and had my head spinning in circles. It was a kiss that made me question everything I’d ever done in order to be lucky enough to be on the receiving end of such passion and promise. It was the kind of kiss I instantly knew I would never get enough of.

  I lowered my hand to the soft curve of her backside and tugged her even closer until there was barely any space between her pounding heart and mine. Everywhere we touched she was soft and malleable. She molded to me, following the guide of my hands as my mouth did its best to devour hers. She opened up obediently when my tongue teased the silky seam between her lips. The tip of my tongue flicked against hers, and I heard her breath catch. Her lips slid against mine as the kiss went wet and a little wild. It was like making out when I was a teenager, trying to get as much as possible as fast as possible. The finesse was lacking, but not the enthusiasm from either one of us. I was worried she was going to come to her senses and remember all the reasons she thought having anything to do with me was a bad idea, so I needed to keep her focused on how good I could make her feel instead.